Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer has some good points but contains some language errors and unclear expressions. For example, 'prompt filler' should be 'prawn filling', and 'foreshadowing' seems incorrect here. Also, avoid repeating 'local food' and try to make your sentences more natural and concise. Try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My hometown is Fashion, a small city in Guangdong province in southern China. It is famous for its delicious local food, especially Cantonese dim sum. My favorite dish is Har Kow, which is a dumpling with a transparent wrapper and prawn filling. I really enjoy living there because of its rich culture and tasty cuisine.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains some mistakes, such as 'Fusion' instead of 'Fashion' and 'I like go to have a walk with my' is unfinished. Please complete your sentences and use correct names. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas and provide more specific details.

例: I enjoy the beautiful natural scenery in my hometown, such as Shunfeng Park. Because of its breathtaking views, Fashion is considered one of Asia's most attractive tourist destinations. I often like to take walks there with my friends to relax and enjoy nature.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but has some grammatical errors. For example, 'I stay' should be 'I stayed', and 'then I left only when' is awkward. Try to use past tense consistently and make your sentences more natural and concise.

例: I have lived in my hometown since I was born, so I stayed there for almost 20 years. I only left when I went to university in another city.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words. For example, 'entertainment sports' is unclear; you might mean 'entertainment spots' or 'sports facilities'. Also, try to add more specific examples to support your points.

例: Definitely, I think my hometown is a great place for young people. It offers beautiful natural scenery, which is perfect for outdoor activities like hiking and cycling. Besides that, there are many modern supermarkets and entertainment spots, such as cinemas and sports centers, where young people can hang out and have fun.

× My hometown is Fashion, a small city in Guangdong province, located in the South of China.

✓ My hometown is Fashion, a small city in Guangdong province, located in the south of China.

The word 'South' should not be capitalized here because it is used as a direction, not a proper noun. Directions like north, south, east, and west are generally lowercase unless part of a proper name.

× It is famous for delicious local food, local food like Cantonese dim sum.

✓ It is famous for delicious local food, such as Cantonese dim sum.

Repeating 'local food' is redundant. Using 'such as' is more appropriate to introduce examples. This improves sentence clarity and flow.

× My favorite one is Har Kow, which is dumpling with a transparent wrap and prompt filler.

✓ My favorite one is Har Kow, which is a dumpling with a transparent wrapper and prawn filling.

The sentence has multiple errors: 'dumpling' needs an article 'a'; 'wrap' should be 'wrapper' as a noun; 'prompt filler' is incorrect and should be 'prawn filling' referring to the shrimp filling. Correcting these improves accuracy and clarity.

× I enjoy living in foreshadowing.

✓ I enjoy living in Foshan.

'Foreshadowing' is incorrect here; likely the intended word is 'Foshan', a city in Guangdong. Using the correct proper noun is essential for meaning.

× I enjoy the beautiful natural scenery in my hometown like Shunfeng Park.

✓ I enjoy the beautiful natural scenery in my hometown, such as Shunfeng Park.

Using 'like' to introduce examples is informal and can be ambiguous. 'Such as' is more appropriate for giving examples in formal speech or writing.

× The breathtaking scenery makes Fusion one of the Asia's most attractive tourist destinations.

✓ The breathtaking scenery makes Foshan one of Asia's most attractive tourist destinations.

'Fusion' is likely a typo for 'Foshan'. Also, 'the Asia's' is incorrect; 'Asia's' without 'the' is correct because 'Asia' is a proper noun and possessive here.

× I like go to have a walk with my.

✓ I like to go for a walk with my friends.

The original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical. 'I like go to have a walk with my' lacks an object and correct verb form. Correcting to 'I like to go for a walk with my friends' completes the sentence and uses proper verb form and object.

× so I stay in my hometown for almost 20 years and then I left only when I went to university to study in another city.

✓ so I have stayed in my hometown for almost 20 years and then I left only when I went to university to study in another city.

The sentence mixes present tense 'stay' with past tense 'left'. Using present perfect 'have stayed' is appropriate to indicate duration up to now, followed by past tense 'left' for a completed action.

× It offers a beautiful natural scenery which is perfect for outdoor activities.

✓ It offers beautiful natural scenery which is perfect for outdoor activities.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and does not need the article 'a'. Removing 'a' makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× Besides that, there are many modern supermarkets and entertainment sports where young people can hang out and have fun.

✓ Besides that, there are many modern supermarkets and entertainment spots where young people can hang out and have fun.

'Entertainment sports' is incorrect; the intended phrase is likely 'entertainment spots' meaning places for entertainment. Correcting this improves meaning and grammar.