Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid awkward phrases like 'the summer city' and 'richest and beautiful nature scenery'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Try to limit your answer to 3-4 sentences for better effectiveness.

例: My hometown is Nanjing, a city in eastern China known for its beautiful natural scenery, including the Qinhuai River and Purple Mountain. I enjoy living there because it offers a perfect balance between modern urban life and rich cultural heritage.

提案: Your answer has several unclear and awkward phrases like 'summer breakfast friendly night world' and 'great spot fertilization and outdated activity'. To improve, use clear and relevant vocabulary, and organise your ideas logically with linking words. Also, avoid redundancy and keep sentences concise.

例: I really appreciate the peaceful atmosphere of my hometown. It feels welcoming and safe, especially at night. Moreover, I enjoy the natural scenery, such as the parks and rivers, which offer great spots for relaxation and outdoor activities.

提案: Your answer is mostly clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrases like 'quick grown quick fond' and 'comfortable lifetime'. To improve, use correct verb forms and more natural expressions. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I have lived there for about five years. I moved there for work, and since then, I have quickly grown fond of the community and environment. Living there provides me with a comfortable lifestyle and easy access to amenities.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases like 'great good place', 'job purchasing', and 'make it convince'. To improve, use correct grammar and clearer vocabulary. Also, organise your ideas logically with linking words and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people. It offers various recreational facilities such as parks, sports centres, and cafes where they can socialize and relax. Additionally, there are several educational institutions and job opportunities nearby, making it convenient for young adults to study and work.

× My hometown is the summer city called Nanjing, located in eastern China.

✓ My hometown is the summer city called Nanjing, located in eastern China.

No grammatical error detected in this sentence.

× It is famous for its richest and beautiful nature scenery such as Kinhai River and Piper Mountain.

✓ It is famous for its rich and beautiful natural scenery such as the Kinhai River and Piper Mountain.

'Richest' is a superlative adjective but the context requires the positive form 'rich'. 'Nature scenery' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'natural scenery'. Also, 'Kinhai River' should be preceded by the definite article 'the' as it is a specific river.

× I enjoy living there because it offers a perfect balance between modern urban life and culture heritage.

✓ I enjoy living there because it offers a perfect balance between modern urban life and cultural heritage.

The phrase 'culture heritage' is incorrect; the correct adjective form is 'cultural heritage'.

× I really appreciate the peaceful atmosphere of my time hometown.

✓ I really appreciate the peaceful atmosphere of my hometown.

The phrase 'my time hometown' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'my hometown'.

× It's a summer breakfast friendly night world which makes it feel very welcome and safe.

✓ It's a summer-friendly, peaceful place which makes it feel very welcoming and safe.

The original sentence contains nonsensical phrases like 'summer breakfast friendly night world'. It should be corrected to meaningful adjectives such as 'summer-friendly' and 'peaceful'. Also, 'welcome' should be 'welcoming' to describe the feeling it gives.

× And then I enjoy the natures and scenery around such as the parks and river which provide great spot fertilization and outdated activity.

✓ And then I enjoy the nature and scenery around, such as the parks and river, which provide great spots for relaxation and outdoor activities.

'Natures' is incorrect; 'nature' is uncountable. 'Spot fertilization' and 'outdated activity' are incorrect phrases; likely intended 'great spots for relaxation' and 'outdoor activities'.

× I have lived there for about 5 years now.

✓ I have lived there for about 5 years now.

No grammatical error detected in this sentence.

× I moved to the place for work and since then I have quick grown quick fond of the community and the environment.

✓ I moved to the place for work and since then I have quickly grown fond of the community and the environment.

The adverb 'quick' is incorrectly used; it should be 'quickly' to modify the verb 'grown'. Also, 'quick grown quick fond' is repetitive and incorrect; the correct phrase is 'quickly grown fond'.

× Living here has given me a comfortable lifetime and easy access to amenities.

✓ Living here has given me a comfortable life and easy access to amenities.

'Lifetime' refers to the duration of a person's life, not the quality of life. The correct word is 'life'.

× Yes, my hometown is a great good place for young people.

✓ Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people.

'Great good' is redundant; only one adjective is needed. 'Great' alone is sufficient.

× It offers a variety of recreational facilities such as parks, Sports Center and cafe where young people can socialize and relax.

✓ It offers a variety of recreational facilities such as parks, sports centers, and cafes where young people can socialize and relax.

'Sports Center' and 'cafe' should be pluralized to 'sports centers' and 'cafes' to match 'a variety of'. Also, 'sports centers' and 'cafes' should be in lowercase unless part of a proper noun.

× But there were several educational institutions and job purchasing nearby which make it convince for young adult to study.

✓ But there are several educational institutions and job opportunities nearby which make it convenient for young adults to study.

'Were' should be 'are' to match present tense context. 'Job purchasing' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'job opportunities'. 'Convince' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'convenient'. 'Young adult' should be plural 'young adults'.