Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp, ví dụ như thiếu liên từ phù hợp và câu bị nối không đúng cách. Bạn nên chia câu thành các câu ngắn hơn, rõ ràng và sử dụng liên từ để câu văn mạch lạc hơn.

例: My hometown is a small city in the northern part of my country. It is known for its beautiful natural scenery, including mountains and rivers. Many tourists visit because of these attractions. I really enjoy living there.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không chính xác, khiến ý nghĩa không rõ ràng. Bạn nên sử dụng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng, tránh lỗi ngữ pháp và diễn đạt ý tưởng một cách mạch lạc hơn.

例: My hometown does not have any skyscrapers, but I am very proud of its peaceful environment. I like the canals and quiet places because my family and friends live there. I really enjoy spending time in my hometown.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có một số lỗi ngữ pháp và cách dùng từ không chính xác. Bạn nên sử dụng thì hiện tại hoàn thành để nói về khoảng thời gian sống và diễn đạt ý định rõ ràng hơn.

例: I have lived there for 17 years since I was a child. I had to move to another city to attend university, but I plan to come back and visit my hometown sometimes.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá rõ ràng nhưng bạn nên tránh dùng từ lóng như "wanna" trong bài thi IELTS. Ngoài ra, bạn có thể mở rộng câu trả lời bằng cách giải thích thêm lý do cụ thể để câu trả lời thuyết phục hơn.

例: No, my hometown is not a good place for young people because it is a poor city with limited opportunities. Young people who want to develop their social skills and careers may find it difficult to do so there.

× My hometown is a small city located in the northern part of my country, is known for its beautiful natural scenery, including mountains and rivers which attract many tourists, and I enjoy living there.

✓ My hometown is a small city located in the northern part of my country. It is known for its beautiful natural scenery, including mountains and rivers which attract many tourists. I enjoy living there.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence that improperly connects multiple independent clauses with commas. It should be divided into separate sentences to improve clarity and grammatical correctness.

× My hometown dononet have any skyscraper, but I very proud of it a peaceful and the places signal canal because they in my hometown have my friend, my family and yeah, I really enjoy it.

✓ My hometown does not have any skyscrapers, but I am very proud of its peacefulness and the Signal Canal area because my friends and family live there. I really enjoy it.

The original sentence contains subject-verb agreement errors ('dononet' should be 'does not'), missing verbs ('I very proud' should be 'I am very proud'), and unclear phrasing. Correcting these improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.

× Actually I spent 17 years to raise and learning at here and I need to go to another place to learn university and maybe sometime I will come back and visit it.

✓ Actually, I spent 17 years growing up and learning here, and I need to go to another place to attend university. Maybe sometime I will come back and visit.

The original sentence misuses verb forms ('to raise' should be 'growing up'), and has awkward phrasing. Using the correct past tense and gerund forms improves the sentence's grammatical correctness.

× No, my hometown is not a good place for young people because it's just a poor city and it's not suitable for young people who wanna develop their social skill and career.

✓ No, my hometown is not a good place for young people because it's just a poor city and it's not suitable for young people who want to develop their social skills and careers.

The informal 'wanna' should be replaced with 'want to' for proper modal verb usage. Also, 'skill' and 'career' should be plural to match the context.