Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答有些语法错误和表达不自然，比如“which is the one of the most famous cities”应为“which is one of the most famous cities”。另外，表达“expensive thing”不够具体，建议用更准确的词汇。回答可以更简洁且自然。

例: My hometown is Shenzhen, one of the most famous cities in China. It is especially known for its high housing prices.

提案: 回答中存在语法错误，如“which because there have has”应简化为“because it has”。“transportations”应为“transportation”。建议使用连贯的句子结构，避免重复和语法错误，使表达更自然流畅。

例: I love Shenzhen because it has almost all the facilities I need, including schools, hospitals, and shopping malls. Moreover, the transportation system is very convenient and covers most areas.

提案: 句子中语法错误较多，如“since I born there”应为“since I was born there”。“I know where is the best place”语序错误，应为“I know the best places to visit and shop”。建议注意时态和语序，表达更准确。

例: I have lived in Shenzhen for over 10 years since I was born there, so I am very familiar with the city. I know the best places to visit and shop.

提案: 回答内容较好，但有语法和表达不自然的问题，如“numbers of big companies”应为“a number of big companies”，“So Shenzhen provides more”表达不完整。建议使用更连贯的句子，丰富细节。

例: Absolutely. Shenzhen is an excellent city for young people because it offers a better educational system and many big companies that provide job opportunities, especially for graduates.

× Shenzhen is my hometown, which is the one of the most famous cities in China and is usually known for its expensive thing, especially when you're buying a house in Shenzhen.

✓ Shenzhen is my hometown, which is one of the most famous cities in China and is usually known for its expensive things, especially when you're buying a house in Shenzhen.

“the one of the most famous cities”中“the”多余，应为“one of the most famous cities”；“expensive thing”应为复数形式“expensive things”，因为指的是一般的贵重物品。

× Umm I love Shenzhen which because there have has almost every facilities that I need include schools, hospitals and shopping malls.

✓ Umm I love Shenzhen because there are almost every facility that I need including schools, hospitals and shopping malls.

“there have has”是错误的动词形式，应为“there are”；“facilities”前的“every”应搭配单数名词“facility”；“include”应改为“including”表示列举。

× Moreover, the transportations are really convenient, it almost covers most areas.

✓ Moreover, the transportation is really convenient; it almost covers most areas.

“transportation”通常作为不可数名词使用，表示交通系统，故用单数形式；句子应分为两个独立分句，用分号或句号连接。

× I have lived in Shenzhen for over 10 years since I born there, so I was really familiar with this city.

✓ I have lived in Shenzhen for over 10 years since I was born there, so I am really familiar with this city.

“since I born”缺少助动词，应为“since I was born”；“was really familiar”时态不匹配，因现在仍熟悉，应用现在时“am really familiar”。

× I know where is the best place for visit and shop.

✓ I know where the best places to visit and shop are.

宾语从句中陈述句语序应为“where the best places to visit and shop are”，而非疑问句语序。

× It provides a better educational system and also there are numbers of big companies which provide job opportunities, especially amongst graduates.

✓ It provides a better educational system and also there are a number of big companies which provide job opportunities, especially among graduates.

“numbers of”应为“a number of”，表示“许多”；“amongst”虽正确，但“among”更常用且简洁。