Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by using correct grammar and avoiding repetition. Also, provide a concise description with relevant details. For example, mention the location clearly and describe what makes it special without repeating words.

例: My hometown is Kimono S Province in Rwanda. It is a beautiful place known for its lush greenery and friendly people.

提案: Focus on giving a clear and coherent answer by using proper sentence structure and linking words. Avoid redundancy and be specific about what you like, such as the hospitality or local food.

例: I like the warm hospitality in my hometown. People are very welcoming and often invite you to share traditional food and drinks, which makes the community feel close-knit.

提案: Provide a clear and concise answer directly addressing the question. Use proper tenses and avoid incomplete sentences. You can mention the duration and current situation clearly.

例: I have lived there since I was a child until I finished university. Now, I no longer live there.

提案: Answer directly and clearly, using linking words to organize your ideas. Explain why it is good for young people with specific reasons, avoiding repetition and unclear phrases.

例: Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people because it is welcoming and disciplined. Young people can feel comfortable and enjoy a safe and friendly environment.

× My hometown is the Kimono S province Cigar Rwanda and it's a really amazing with a beautiful nature and full of green, green plant and beautiful people.

✓ My hometown is Kimono S Province, Cigar, Rwanda, and it's really amazing with beautiful nature, full of green plants and beautiful people.

The preposition 'the' before 'Kimono S province' is unnecessary because proper nouns like place names usually do not require 'the'. Also, 'a really amazing' is incorrect; 'really amazing' is the correct form without 'a'. The phrase 'green, green plant' should be pluralized to 'green plants' to match the context.

× My hometown did they have many things alike and I can be really enjoyed will people.

✓ My hometown has many things alike and I really enjoy being with people.

The phrase 'did they have' is incorrect here; the correct verb form is 'has' to agree with 'my hometown'. 'I can be really enjoyed will people' is incorrect; it should be 'I really enjoy being with people' to correctly express the idea and use proper pronouns and verb forms.

× It's welcoming kindly and they they express their feeling to you and they were coming you to enjoy with them some food and the drink.

✓ It's welcoming and kind, and they express their feelings to you and invite you to enjoy some food and drinks with them.

'Welcoming kindly' is incorrect; 'welcoming and kind' is the proper adjective usage. 'They they' is a repetition error. 'Express their feeling' should be plural 'feelings'. 'They were coming you' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'they invite you'. 'Enjoy with them some food and the drink' should be 'enjoy some food and drinks with them' for correct preposition and article use.

× Since I was a kid, I lived there and I enjoyed them the moment really and after the after starting high school, from that time to the university and now I no longer live there, so I.

✓ Since I was a kid, I lived there and really enjoyed the moments. After starting high school, from that time until university, and now I no longer live there.

The phrase 'I enjoyed them the moment really' is incorrect; it should be 'I really enjoyed the moments'. The sentence is fragmented and unclear; restructuring improves clarity. 'After the after starting high school' is redundant; 'after starting high school' suffices. The sentence ends abruptly; the corrected version completes the thought appropriately.

× Yes, yes, absolutely good. Yes. For the people there, they have a a welcoming discipline and many things. So I think for the young children, for young and children they can, they may feel comfortable there and enjoy the becoming and the discipline.

✓ Yes, absolutely good. The people there have a welcoming discipline and many other things. So I think young children can feel comfortable there and enjoy the environment and the discipline.

The phrase 'a a welcoming discipline' contains a repeated article; only one 'a' is needed. 'For the young children, for young and children' is redundant and awkward; 'young children' suffices. 'Enjoy the becoming' is incorrect; likely intended 'environment'. The sentence is improved by removing redundancy and correcting word choice.