Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不自然的问题，例如“which is notable for his natural environment”应为“its natural environment”，且“the climate in here was not boating in summer or not freezing in winter”表达不清晰。建议使用更准确的词汇和句式，避免重复和语法错误。

例: My hometown is Dalian, a cosmopolitan and peaceful city known for its beautiful natural environment. The climate is mild, with warm summers and cool winters, making it a comfortable place to live.

提案: 回答中存在重复和语法不连贯的问题，如“I like I like”和“when I can”。建议简洁表达观点，使用连接词使句子更流畅，并提供具体细节支持观点。

例: I like the transportation in my hometown because it is very convenient and fast. For example, I can easily travel to different places during my free time, which allows me to explore new areas without any hassle.

提案: 回答中有重复词汇和表达不清晰的问题，如“in my in my living area”和“shop or the road is very peaceful and meaningful”。建议避免重复，使用准确的词汇描述居住环境，并保持句子简洁。

例: I have lived in Dalian for 18 years since I was born. My neighborhood is beautiful and peaceful, with convenient public transportation and many shops nearby.

提案: 回答中语法错误较多，如“An absolute not”和“which can harmful”。建议使用正确的句型表达否定观点，避免重复，且提供更具体的理由支持观点。

例: I don't think my hometown is a good place for young people. Although it is peaceful and convenient, there are fewer job opportunities recently, and increasing pollution, such as noise and air pollution, which can harm people's health.

× My hometown is Dalian, which is a cosmopolitan and peaceful city which is notable for his natural environment.

✓ My hometown is Dalian, which is a cosmopolitan and peaceful city notable for its natural environment.

这里的代词'his'用错了，指代城市时应使用'its'，因为城市是无生命的物体，代词应为中性物主代词。

× Also, the climate in here was not boating in summer or not freezing in winter.

✓ Also, the climate here is neither boiling in summer nor freezing in winter.

短语'in here'应改为'here'，且表达否定时应使用'neither...nor...'结构，'boating'应为'boiling'，表示气温高。

× I like I like my hometown transportation because it's very convenient and fast.

✓ I like the transportation in my hometown because it's very convenient and fast.

句子重复'I like'，且表达交通时应使用'the transportation in my hometown'，使句子结构更清晰。

× For example, I can go, I can easily travel to different places when I can.

✓ For example, I can easily travel to different places whenever I want.

'when I can'表达不自然，应改为'whenever I want'，更符合英语习惯。

× This makes it simple and discover new areas without any hustle.

✓ This makes it simple to discover new areas without any hassle.

'makes it simple and discover'结构错误，应为'makes it simple to discover'，且'hustle'应为'hassle'，意为麻烦。

× I've been living here for 18 years, since I was born in Dalian.

✓ I have lived here for 18 years since I was born in Dalian.

此处表达持续时间，使用现在完成时'I have lived'更合适，'been living'多用于强调动作的持续性。

× It is very beautiful and peaceful in my in my living area and the public transportation is very convenient and the shop or the road is very peaceful and meaningful.

✓ It is very beautiful and peaceful in my living area, and the public transportation is very convenient. The shops and roads are very peaceful and meaningful.

句子结构混乱，重复'in my'，且'shop or the road'应为'shops and roads'，使表达更准确。

× An absolute not, although it is a peaceful and convenient cosmopolitan city, but there's less opportunities in recent years and there's more pollutions like noise pollutions and carbon dioxide which can harmful for people's health.

✓ Absolutely not. Although it is a peaceful and convenient cosmopolitan city, there are fewer opportunities in recent years and more pollution like noise pollution and carbon dioxide, which can be harmful to people's health.

'An absolute not'应为'Absolutely not'，且'although...but'结构重复，'less opportunities'应为'fewer opportunities'，'pollutions'应为'pollution'，'can harmful'应为'can be harmful'。

× So I don't advise it is a good place for young people.

✓ So I don't think it is a good place for young people.

'advise'用错，正确表达应为'I don't think'，更符合语境。