Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "really much more than any place in the world" and focus on directly answering the question with clear, simple language.

例: My hometown is Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia. It's a vibrant city with a rich culture that I really love.

提案: Your answer shows emotion but could be improved by using linking words and more specific details. Instead of saying "everything," mention particular aspects and connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I love my hometown for its delicious food, unique traditions, and friendly community. Since I spent half my childhood there, it holds a special place in my heart.

提案: Your answer is a bit repetitive and unclear. Try to be more concise and use linking words to explain the reason for moving clearly and naturally.

例: I lived in Riyadh for 11 years, but we had to move back to our home country because the taxes there became too high for us.

提案: Your answer is positive but could be clearer and more structured. Use linking words and specific examples to explain why it's good for young people.

例: Yes, Riyadh is a great place for young people because the community is friendly, there are many activities to enjoy, and it offers a strong religious environment that supports youth development.

× I like that place really much more than any place in the world.

✓ I like that place much more than any other place in the world.

The phrase 'really much more' is awkward and incorrect. 'Much more' is the correct quantifier to express a greater degree of liking. Also, 'any place' should be 'any other place' to correctly compare the hometown with other places.

× I like everything about my hometown and their food, their traditions, their way of living, literally everything.

✓ I like everything about my hometown: its food, its traditions, its way of living, literally everything.

The pronoun 'their' is incorrect when referring to a singular noun 'hometown'. The correct possessive pronoun is 'its' for singular inanimate objects or places.

× And then and then eventually we had to move out because of the taxes.

✓ And then, eventually, we had to move out because of the taxes.

The repetition of 'and then' is redundant and incorrect. Also, commas are needed to separate the adverb 'eventually' for clarity.

× So we had to just move to a move back to our mother country, you can say.

✓ So we just had to move back to our mother country, you could say.

The phrase 'move to a move back' is incorrect and redundant. The correct phrase is 'move back'. Also, 'you can say' is better expressed as 'you could say' in this context.

× Yes, it is really a good place for young people because there there is like so much, the people there are so friendly and you got to experience things and in a religious way it is a great place for young people.

✓ Yes, it is really a good place for young people because there is so much to do, the people there are very friendly, and you get to experience many things. In a religious way, it is a great place for young people.

The phrase 'there there is like so much' is incorrect and redundant. 'There is so much to do' is clearer. Also, 'you got to experience things' should be 'you get to experience many things' to maintain present tense and clarity. Commas and sentence structure are improved for readability.