Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答时语言不够自然，有重复和语法错误。建议简洁明了地介绍家乡，避免重复，并使用连贯的句子。

例: My hometown is Shanghai, located in eastern China. It is a modern and fashionable city with many famous landmarks that attract tourists from around the world.

提案: 回答内容较好，但表达略显重复。建议使用更多连接词，使表达更流畅，同时丰富词汇。

例: I like the convenience of Shanghai because it offers many new trends and international brands. Therefore, people can easily purchase products from all over the world, which makes shopping very convenient.

提案: 回答中有较多犹豫词和重复，句子结构不够清晰。建议减少填充词，使用连贯句子表达时间和经历。

例: I have lived in Shanghai for almost 20 years since I was born here. Although I often travel abroad or to other cities, Shanghai has always been my home.

提案: 回答中使用了冗长的连接词，表达不够简洁。建议简化句子结构，使用恰当的连接词，使表达更自然。

例: Yes, I believe Shanghai is a great place for young people because it is full of trends and offers diverse cultural experiences.

× many people take the trips to Shanghai

✓ many people take trips to Shanghai

这里的“trips”前面已经有“many people”，表示复数，所以不需要加定冠词“the”，直接用复数形式“trips”即可。

× I raised here too

✓ I was raised here too

“raised”是过去分词，表示被动语态，句子中缺少助动词“was”，应使用被动语态“was raised”表示“我在这里长大”。

× I never, uh, been away from Shanghai, uh, for a long time

✓ I have never been away from Shanghai for a long time

此处表示从过去到现在的经历，应使用现在完成时“have been”，而不是过去式“been”。

× I still lived here for many years

✓ I have still lived here for many years

表示从过去持续到现在的动作，应使用现在完成时“have lived”，而不是过去式“lived”。

× due to the fact that for me

✓ because for me

“due to the fact that”是正式且冗长的表达，且后面不应再加“for me”，应简化为“because for me”更自然。