Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có một số lỗi lặp từ và cấu trúc câu chưa tự nhiên. Bạn nên tránh lặp lại từ ngữ và sử dụng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng hơn để câu trả lời tự nhiên và hiệu quả hơn.

例: My hometown is Tang Hua Province, a rural area in northern Vietnam. It has a fresh and clean environment, and the people there are very friendly.

提案: Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng liên từ phù hợp để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể hơn về cảnh quan và con người để câu trả lời sinh động hơn.

例: I love my hometown because it has many beautiful landscapes that attract both locals and visitors. Moreover, the people there are very friendly, which makes the place even more welcoming.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có lỗi ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu chưa rõ ràng. Bạn nên sử dụng câu đơn giản, đúng ngữ pháp và tránh ngắt quãng không cần thiết để câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn.

例: I have lived in my hometown for 18 years since I was born and raised there.

提案: Bạn nên sử dụng câu rõ ràng, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy mở rộng ý bằng cách giải thích thêm về cơ hội việc làm hoặc môi trường sống.

例: My hometown has a fresh environment, which is good for health. However, it lacks many career opportunities for young people to find jobs.

× My hometown has a fresh and fresh and clean environment and people really friendly.

✓ My hometown has a fresh and clean environment, and the people are really friendly.

The phrase 'fresh and fresh and clean' is repetitive; 'fresh and clean' is sufficient. Also, 'people really friendly' lacks a verb; it should be 'the people are really friendly' to form a complete sentence.

× I love my hometown because my hometown have a lot of beautiful landscape which are really attractive, not also with locals people, but not only with the local people but also with visitors and the people in here very friendly.

✓ I love my hometown because it has a lot of beautiful landscapes which are really attractive, not only to the local people but also to visitors, and the people here are very friendly.

The verb 'have' should be 'has' to agree with the singular subject 'my hometown'. 'Landscape' should be plural 'landscapes' to match 'a lot of'. The phrase 'not also with locals people' is incorrect; it should be 'not only to the local people'. Also, 'the people in here very friendly' lacks a verb; it should be 'the people here are very friendly'.

× I have lived in my hometown for 18 years, from years since I was born and. Raised there.

✓ I have lived in my hometown for 18 years since I was born and raised there.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains redundant words like 'from years'. Combining the ideas into one clear sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× My hometown has a fresh environment and that's good for our health, but my hometown doesn't have more, doesn't have too much opportunity, career opportunities for young people to find job.

✓ My hometown has a fresh environment which is good for our health, but it doesn't have many career opportunities for young people to find jobs.

'Doesn't have more' is incorrect; 'doesn't have many' is appropriate for countable nouns like 'career opportunities'. Also, 'to find job' should be 'to find jobs' to be grammatically correct and plural to match 'opportunities'.