Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and descriptive, but to improve, try to use more varied vocabulary and add a linking phrase to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, avoid repeating similar ideas like 'beautiful' and 'breathtaking' without linking them.

例: My hometown is Pintang, a charming island in Fujian, China. Surrounded by the ocean, it boasts stunning coastal landscapes that draw many visitors. Moreover, the tranquil atmosphere and refreshing sea breeze make it an ideal place to live.

提案: Your answer is good but could be improved by starting with a clear topic sentence and using linking words to connect your ideas. Also, try to avoid vague phrases like 'almost everything' and be more specific.

例: What I like most about my hometown is its seafood. Not only is it delicious, but it is also nutritious, rich in protein and fresh flavors that are rare elsewhere. Since I now live away, I often find myself missing these unique tastes.

提案: Your answer is clear and personal, but to enhance coherence, start with a direct topic sentence and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, avoid mixing tenses unnecessarily.

例: I lived in my hometown for over 10 years, from elementary school until I left for college. During that time, I made many cherished memories with my family and friends. Consequently, I know the neighborhood very well and will never forget those times.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, use clear topic sentences, correct grammar, and linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid redundancy and be more specific.

例: Yes, I believe my hometown is a great place for young people. It offers many natural, undeveloped areas that encourage exploration and foster curiosity and creativity. Additionally, the local food is not only delicious but also nutritious, which supports healthy growth for the younger generation.

× Even though I now live away from home, I often miss the unique taste from them.

✓ Even though I now live away from home, I often miss the unique taste of it.

The pronoun 'them' is plural and does not agree with the singular noun 'taste'. The correct pronoun should be 'it' to refer to the singular noun 'taste'.

× Besides, the food, there is not only delicious but also nutritious, which is good for the growth of the young generation.

✓ Besides, the food is not only delicious but also nutritious, which is good for the growth of the young generation.

The original sentence incorrectly separates the subject 'the food' and the verb 'is' with commas, causing a sentence structure error. The correct sentence should connect the subject and verb directly without commas to form a proper sentence.