Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid redundancy. Instead of saying "it's just a small town, it's not that big," you can say "It's a small town in northern Shan State, Burma." Also, add a bit more detail to make your answer richer.

例: My hometown is a small town located in northern Shan State, Burma. It's known for its peaceful environment and friendly community.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, be specific about what kind of views and greenery you mean.

例: I like my hometown because it is situated near Ada Hill, which offers beautiful scenic views. Additionally, the abundant green spaces make it a very relaxing place to live.

提案: Your answer is clear and well-structured. To improve, try to use more varied vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence.

例: I lived in my hometown for about 11 years since childhood. However, I moved away to attend college, so I no longer live there, although my parents still do. It remains a place full of cherished memories for me.

提案: Work on grammar and sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific about what facilities or activities are missing.

例: I don't think my hometown is ideal for young people because it is a small town with limited recreational activities. Moreover, it lacks higher education institutions like colleges or universities, which makes it less suitable for teenagers seeking academic opportunities.

× My hometown is located at Ada Hill so it gave us a lot of views to enjoy and.

✓ My hometown is located on Ada Hill, so it gives us a lot of views to enjoy.

The preposition 'at' is incorrect when referring to a location on a hill; 'on' is the correct preposition. Also, the sentence was incomplete and mixed tenses; 'gave' should be 'gives' to match the present tense context.

× There are a lot Greenland there, so it's really relaxing.

✓ There is a lot of greenery there, so it's really relaxing.

'Greenland' is a proper noun referring to a place, not the intended meaning. The correct word is 'greenery' which is uncountable, so 'a lot of greenery' is appropriate.

× I have lived there since I was a kid for about 11 years.

✓ I lived there since I was a kid for about 11 years.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is incorrect with a finished time period 'for about 11 years' that ended in the past. Simple past 'lived' is appropriate here.

× It's not because it's just a small town and doesn't have many things to do and it doesn't have college, university and other funding, so it's not suit for teenagers.

✓ It's not, because it's just a small town and doesn't have many things to do, and it doesn't have a college, university, or other facilities, so it's not suitable for teenagers.

The sentence has multiple issues: missing articles before 'college' and 'university'; 'funding' is incorrect in this context, 'facilities' or 'resources' is better; 'not suit' should be 'not suitable'; commas are needed for clarity.