Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ, ví dụ như thiếu động từ 'is' trong câu 'which located'. Bạn nên trả lời ngắn gọn, tự nhiên hơn và chú ý cấu trúc câu để tránh lỗi. Hãy sử dụng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể với các liên từ phù hợp.

例: I come from a small village in the Mekong Delta, which is surrounded by nature, including many farmlands and canals. The pace of life there is slow and peaceful, making it a relaxing place to live.

提案: Bạn nên tránh lặp từ như 'sense and a strong sense' và chú ý ngữ pháp như 'everyone know' nên là 'everyone knows'. Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng, mạch lạc và sử dụng liên từ để kết nối ý. Hãy thêm ví dụ cụ thể để làm câu trả lời sinh động hơn.

例: What I like most about my hometown is the laid-back lifestyle and the strong sense of community. For example, everyone knows each other, and we work together to preserve many traditional values.

提案: Câu trả lời có lỗi ngữ pháp như 'father have' nên là 'father had' và 'a big patience' không phù hợp, nên dùng 'a strong attachment' hoặc 'fondness'. Bạn nên dùng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng và tránh lỗi thì. Hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: I was born and raised in my hometown for almost 10 years. Then, my father had a new job opportunity, so my family moved to a bustling city. However, I still have a strong attachment to the rural area.

× Well, I come from a small village which located in Mecum Delta east in the middle of nowhere but surrounded by nature, a lot of foreign lands and canals.

✓ Well, I come from a small village which is located in the Mecum Delta, east, in the middle of nowhere, but surrounded by nature, many farmlands, and canals.

The original sentence is missing the verb 'is' after 'which' to form a correct relative clause. Also, 'foreign lands' should be 'farmlands' to make sense in context. Commas are needed to separate descriptive elements for clarity.

× It's definitely the laid back lifestyle and the sense and a strong sense of community like everyone know each other and we still together maintain many traditional values.

✓ It's definitely the laid-back lifestyle and a strong sense of community, like everyone knows each other, and we still together maintain many traditional values.

The verb 'know' should be 'knows' to agree with the singular subject 'everyone'. Also, 'laid back' should be hyphenated as 'laid-back' when used as an adjective. The sentence structure is improved by adding commas for clarity.

× I actually was born and raised there for almost 10 years, then my father have another job opportunities, so my family chose to leave the village to move to a bustling city.

✓ I was actually born and raised there for almost 10 years. Then my father had other job opportunities, so my family chose to leave the village and move to a bustling city.

The verb 'have' should be in past tense 'had' to match the past context. 'Another job opportunities' is incorrect; it should be 'other job opportunities' because 'opportunities' is plural. The sentence is split for clarity and flow.

× But I still have a big patience for the rural area.

✓ But I still have a lot of patience for the rural area.

'Patience' is an uncountable noun, so 'a big patience' is incorrect. The correct quantifier is 'a lot of' to express a large amount of patience.