Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不自然的问题，例如缺少动词，句子结构不完整。建议注意句子完整性，使用正确的语法结构，并避免拼写错误。

例: My hometown is Hangzhou, a beautiful city in eastern China. It is located in Zhejiang province and is famous for West Lake, which has historic gardens and temples. Many tourists visit every year because of its natural beauty.

提案: 回答中有多处拼写和表达错误，内容不够连贯，且细节描述不清晰。建议加强词汇准确性，使用连词使句子更流畅，并具体描述喜欢的事物。

例: What I like most about my hometown is the beautiful scenery. West Lake is a peaceful place to walk, especially in spring when the willow trees turn green. I also enjoy traditional snacks like dragon beard candy and Beggar's chicken because they taste delicious.

提案: 回答中时态使用不当，句子结构混乱，表达不够清晰。建议注意时态一致性，简洁表达，并使用连接词使句子更连贯。

例: I have lived in Hangzhou since I was born, so about 25 years. It has always been home for me, my family, and friends. Even when I studied in another city for college, I missed Hangzhou's food and atmosphere. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

提案: 回答较为简洁，但缺少连贯性和具体细节。建议使用连接词丰富句子结构，并具体说明年轻人可以参与的活动。

例: Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people. There are many job opportunities in big companies, and plenty of entertainment options like shopping malls and cinemas. Therefore, young people can both work and enjoy their free time here.

× My hometown in Hangzhou, a beautiful city in eastern China.

✓ My hometown is Hangzhou, a beautiful city in eastern China.

句子缺少系动词“is”，导致句子不完整。应在主语和表语之间加上“is”表示存在关系。

× It is the Zhejiang province, famous for Westlake.

✓ It is in Zhejiang province, famous for Westlake.

“the Zhejiang province”用法不当，且缺少介词“in”表示地点。应去掉定冠词“the”，并加上介词“in”。

× You know that science lake with a historic great gardens and temples.

✓ You know that scenic lake with historic great gardens and temples.

“science lake”应为“scenic lake”（风景优美的湖），形容词用错。

× You know that science lake with a historic great gardens and temples.

✓ You know that scenic lake with historic great gardens and temples.

“a historic great gardens”中“gardens”是复数，前面不应有不定冠词“a”。

× A lot of tourists visit every year because of the natural beauty.

✓ A lot of tourists visit every year because of its natural beauty.

缺少指代词“its”来明确“natural beauty”是指西湖的自然美。

× Well first the sensory is amazing.

✓ Well, first the scenery is amazing.

“sensory”是感官的意思，应为“scenery”（风景）。

× Westlake is a favorite walk around inferior peaceful especially in spring when the Willow trees are are green.

✓ Westlake is a favorite place to walk around, very peaceful especially in spring when the willow trees are green.

句子结构混乱，“walk around”应作为动词短语，“inferior peaceful”用词错误，应改为“very peaceful”。

× when the Willow trees are are green.

✓ when the willow trees are green.

“are”重复出现，应删除多余的“are”。

× Also I love the traditional snacks like dragon wheelchair and begins chicken.

✓ Also I love the traditional snacks like dragon beard candy and beggar's chicken.

“dragon wheelchair”和“begins chicken”是错误的词，应为“dragon beard candy”和“beggar's chicken”，是杭州著名小吃。

× The test is so good.

✓ The taste is so good.

“test”应为“taste”，表示味道。

× I I lived in Hangzhou since I was born, so that's about 25 years.

✓ I have lived in Hangzhou since I was born, so that's about 25 years.

表示从过去持续到现在的动作，应使用现在完成时“have lived”，而非一般过去时“lived”。

× It's always been home to me or my family, friends, and their favorite place here.

✓ It's always been home to me and my family, friends, and their favorite place here.

“or”用错，应为“and”连接并列成分。

× Even when I studies in another city for college.

✓ Even when I studied in another city for college.

“studies”应为过去式“studied”，因为动作发生在过去。

× I miss Hangzhou food and like work so I can't imagine living anywhere else.

✓ I miss Hangzhou food and like work, so I can't imagine living anywhere else.

句子缺少逗号，连接两个独立分句时应加逗号。

× Yes it is.

✓ Yes, it is.

“Yes”和后面的句子之间应加逗号。

× There are many jobs for young people like in big companies and there are fun things to do, shopping mall, cinemas and so young people can work and have fun here.

✓ There are many jobs for young people in big companies, and there are fun things to do, like shopping malls and cinemas, so young people can work and have fun here.

“shopping mall”应为复数“shopping malls”，且句子结构混乱，需调整连接词和标点。