Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and coherence. Try to give a clear and direct response about your hometown's location and characteristics, avoiding repetition and unclear phrases. Use simple, correct sentences and organise your ideas logically.

例: My hometown is Beijing, the capital of China. It is located on a plateau, which gives it a cooler climate compared to other cities. I like it because it is affordable and has many cultural attractions.

提案: Your answer repeats ideas and is somewhat unclear. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid repetition. Provide specific reasons and use linking words to connect your points.

例: I like my hometown because of its cold weather, which suits me well. Additionally, I enjoy the rich culture and friendly people who live there.

提案: Your answer is confusing and lacks grammatical accuracy. Provide a clear and direct response stating how long you have lived there, using correct sentence structure.

例: I have lived in my hometown since I was born, so I have been there for about 18 years.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contradictory. Try to clearly state your opinion and support it with specific reasons. Use linking words to organise your ideas logically.

例: I think my hometown is not ideal for young people because there are few amusement parks for entertainment. However, it has many international and private schools, which is a positive aspect.

× My hometown is the capital of China stay cool down cheap an it is located on hill station so it has the cold weather and cold weather so align my hometown.

✓ My hometown is the capital of China. It is cool, calm, and cheap, and it is located on a hill station, so it has cold weather. That's why I like my hometown.

The original sentence has incorrect adjective order and lacks proper sentence structure. Adjectives like 'cool', 'calm', and 'cheap' should be separated by commas and placed before the noun they describe. Also, the sentence is run-on and unclear, so it needs to be split into clearer sentences for better understanding.

× I like my hometown because because of the weather and the weather in my time is so cold as I like cold weather. Another thing is the culture yet people.

✓ I like my hometown because of the weather; it is very cold, and I like cold weather. Another thing is the culture and the people.

The phrase 'because because of' is redundant; only one 'because' or 'because of' is needed. Also, 'yet' is incorrectly used; 'and' is appropriate to connect 'culture' and 'people'. The sentence structure is improved by splitting into two sentences and clarifying the ideas.

× Now I'm living in my hometown saying I was saying I was born. So maybe. Content on those year maybe I live on my hometown 18 years.

✓ I am currently living in my hometown where I was born. So, I have lived in my hometown for about 18 years.

The original sentence uses incorrect tense and awkward phrasing. 'Now I'm living' is acceptable but 'saying I was saying I was born' is unclear and incorrect. The correction uses present continuous and present perfect to express current living situation and duration properly.

× No, my hometown is in good for a good place for young. People because they know amusement park to enjoy your life an but on the other hand, the schools are. I'm there a lot of International School and private school.

✓ No, my hometown is not a good place for young people because there are no amusement parks to enjoy life. On the other hand, there are many international and private schools.

The phrase 'is in good for a good place' is incorrect; it should be 'is not a good place'. 'They know amusement park' is incorrect; it should be 'there are no amusement parks'. Also, 'I'm there a lot of' is incorrect; it should be 'there are many'. Prepositions and articles are corrected for proper meaning and grammar.