Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy by combining ideas and using smoother phrasing. For example, instead of saying "My hometown is in India, Haryana and it is a very small place named Uniana," you could say "My hometown is Uniana, a small town in Haryana, India." Also, avoid adding "And I love that place a lot" as a separate sentence; instead, integrate it naturally.

例: My hometown is Uniana, a small town in Haryana, India, which I love very much.

提案: Your answer lacks coherence and contains grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect your points logically, and be specific about what you like. For example, instead of listing items abruptly, say "Firstly, I appreciate the quality of government schools. Secondly, the beautiful temple is a cultural highlight. Lastly, the park provides a great place for relaxation." Also, avoid vague phrases like "So. I can select."

例: There are many things I love about my hometown. Firstly, the government schools offer good education. Secondly, the beautiful temple is a cultural highlight. Lastly, the park provides a peaceful place to relax. Overall, it's a very neat and clean place.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use the present perfect tense for ongoing situations and improve sentence flow. For example, say "I have lived there since my childhood, but I moved to Canada four years ago for further studies. I miss my hometown a lot."

例: I have lived in my hometown since my childhood, but I moved to Canada four years ago to continue my studies. I miss my hometown a lot.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many errors that affect understanding. Focus on clear, simple sentences and directly answer the question. For example, say "Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because it is clean, smoke-free, and drug-free. It provides a healthy environment for children to grow and develop."

例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people. It is clean, smoke-free, and drug-free, which helps children grow up healthy and focused on their future.

× There's plenty of things which I love about my hometown.

✓ There are plenty of things which I love about my hometown.

The phrase 'plenty of things' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is'. This is a subject-verb agreement issue related to pronoun usage.

× Secondly, them good temple.

✓ Secondly, the good temple.

The word 'them' is incorrect here; it should be the definite article 'the' to correctly modify the singular noun 'temple'.

× Thirdly, the park.

✓ Thirdly, the park.

This sentence is correct as is; 'the park' is singular and properly used.

× So. I can select.

✓ So, I can select.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Combining the two parts with a comma improves sentence flow and clarity.

× I lived there since my childhood.

✓ I have lived there since my childhood.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is appropriate here to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present.

× But now from the last four years, I just moved to Canada for my further study and now I'm missing a lot to my hometown.

✓ But for the last four years, I have been living in Canada for my further studies and now I miss my hometown a lot.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. Using present perfect continuous 'have been living' indicates ongoing action, and 'miss' is the correct present tense verb here. Also, 'missing a lot to my hometown' is incorrect; it should be 'miss my hometown a lot.'

× I can see use my hometown is a very neat and clean place.

✓ I can say my hometown is a very neat and clean place.

The phrase 'I can see use' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'I can say' to express opinion.

× Will the young with the young children can give a direction to their life?

✓ Young people and children can be guided to find direction in their lives.

The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Rephrasing improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× This is no small it is a smoke free, drugs free and a good place flick purple armor then starts their health so I can say.

✓ It is a small, smoke-free, drug-free, and good place that promotes health, so I can say that.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains nonsensical phrases like 'flick purple armor.' The correction provides a coherent and grammatically correct sentence.

× That's the bad past, please.

✓ That's the best part, please.

The original sentence likely contains a typo or mispronunciation. 'Bad past' should be 'best part' to make sense in context.