Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer has good content but needs to be more natural and clear. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, instead of repeating 'temples and culture', you can say 'It is famous for its rich culture and numerous temples.' Also, keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: My hometown is Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal. It is famous for its rich culture and numerous temples. Additionally, the city is surrounded by lush green forests, which add to its natural beauty.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Also, correct words like 'phrase' to 'fresh'. Try to make your sentences more natural and fluent.

例: I like many things about my hometown, but the weather is the best because it is surrounded by green forests. As it is located on a hilltop, we can enjoy a great view of the city. Moreover, the air is always fresh and clean.

提案: Your answer has some unclear parts and grammatical errors. Avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases like 'as I was brown and red hair'. Focus on clear and direct answers. Use linking words to add supporting details logically.

例: I have lived in Kathmandu for almost 24 years since I was born. I am very attached to the peaceful environment and friendly community here. It has been a great pleasure growing up in this city.

提案: Your answer is relevant but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons. Also, correct phrases like 'many park' to 'many parks' and 'common helpful' to 'commonly helpful'. Make your sentences more natural and fluent.

例: Yes, of course, my hometown is a good place for young people because it is less crowded than the city center. There are many parks for children and young people to enjoy in a quiet environment. Additionally, the people here are very helpful and friendly.

× My hometown is very rich in culture and his spiritual places like temple and it is famous for the temples and culture of mostly it is for the numerical Sir.

✓ My hometown is very rich in culture and its spiritual places like temples, and it is famous mostly for the temples and culture.

The pronoun 'his' is incorrectly used to refer to 'my hometown', which is an inanimate object and should use 'its'. Also, 'temple' should be plural 'temples' to match the context. The phrase 'numerical Sir' is unclear and likely a mishearing or error, so it is omitted for clarity.

× And it's fully surrounded by the green forest.

✓ And it's fully surrounded by green forests.

The phrase 'the green forest' is incorrect because it refers to a general area, so 'green forests' (plural) is more appropriate to indicate multiple forested areas surrounding the hometown.

× As it is near to the forest and surrounded by the green forest, and the air is always phrase.

✓ As it is near the forest and surrounded by green forests, the air is always fresh.

The preposition 'near to' is incorrect; 'near' should be used without 'to'. Also, 'phrase' is a typo and should be 'fresh'. 'The green forest' should be plural 'green forests' to indicate multiple forests.

× And as it is located in on the hilltop.

✓ And as it is located on the hilltop.

The phrase 'in on the hilltop' contains redundant prepositions. The correct preposition is 'on' when referring to a hilltop location.

× I have lived here for almost 24 years as I was brown and red hair.

✓ I have lived here for almost 24 years since I was born and had red hair.

The phrase 'as I was brown and red hair' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'since I was born and had red hair' to indicate the starting point of living there. Also, 'have lived' is correct present perfect tense for duration.

× I am very attached to the environment and the peaceful Society of here and it was a great pleasure growing here.

✓ I am very attached to the environment and the peaceful society here, and it has been a great pleasure growing up here.

'Society of here' is incorrect; it should be 'society here'. Also, 'it was a great pleasure growing here' should be 'it has been a great pleasure growing up here' to maintain tense consistency and correct verb usage.

× Yes, of course, my hometown is very. Good place for the young people as it is less crowded than the city area an here we can find many park for the young people and the children with a quiet environment and.

✓ Yes, of course, my hometown is a very good place for young people as it is less crowded than the city area, and here we can find many parks for young people and children with a quiet environment.

'Good place' needs the article 'a'. 'Many park' should be plural 'many parks'. The sentence is corrected for punctuation and clarity.

× The people in my hometown are very common helpful.

✓ The people in my hometown are very kind and helpful.

The phrase 'common helpful' is incorrect. It should be 'kind and helpful' to properly describe the people.