Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer has good content but needs to be more natural and clear. Avoid using unclear words like 'hilarious' when describing scenery. Try to use simple, correct vocabulary and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Also, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

例: My hometown is Hitara, located in the Makwanpur district of southern Nepal. It is surrounded by beautiful greenery and hills. I love the friendly nature of the people there. The peaceful environment makes it a wonderful place to live. Overall, I am very proud of my hometown.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but the vocabulary and grammar need improvement for clarity. Words like 'unloveable' are incorrect here. Use simple and correct words like 'friendly' or 'welcoming'. Also, try to connect your ideas with linking words and avoid repetition.

例: I like my hometown because the people are very welcoming and friendly to everyone. Moreover, the climate is pleasant and the natural surroundings are beautiful. These qualities make my hometown very special to me. Therefore, I love living there.

提案: Your answer is unclear and does not directly answer the question. Focus on giving a clear, direct response about how long you have lived in your hometown. Use simple sentences and avoid unrelated information. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences.

例: I have lived in my hometown for most of my life. However, I sometimes stay in Kakadu Valley for business and education. Whenever I have free time, I visit my hometown to see my grandparents and relatives, especially during festivals.

提案: Your answer has many grammar and vocabulary errors that make it hard to understand. Avoid confusing phrases like 'different types of war and head offices'. Use simple, clear sentences and relevant vocabulary. Also, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details linked logically.

例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people. The government has established various sports clubs and computer courses for youth. These activities help young people develop skills and stay focused on their goals. Therefore, it is a supportive environment for young people.

× It is in Makwanpur district, the southern part of Nepal, which is surrounded by the greenery and hilarious, which is very beautiful.

✓ It is in Makwanpur district, the southern part of Nepal, which is surrounded by greenery and hills, which are very beautiful.

The word 'hilarious' is an adjective meaning 'very funny' and is incorrectly used here. The intended meaning seems to be 'hills' or 'hilly areas'. Also, 'the greenery' should be 'greenery' without 'the' to sound natural. The relative clause should refer to plural 'hills' with 'are' instead of 'is'.

× What I love about my hometown is the way people are so much welcoming, unloveable to every, each and everyone.

✓ What I love about my hometown is the way people are so welcoming and lovable to everyone.

The phrase 'so much welcoming' is incorrect; 'so welcoming' is correct. 'Unloveable' means not lovable, which contradicts the intended meaning. 'Every, each and everyone' is redundant; 'everyone' suffices.

× The temperature, the climate, the nature of the surrounding is very much beautiful and it is very much to my heart.

✓ The temperature, the climate, and the nature of the surroundings are very beautiful and very dear to my heart.

The subject is plural, so 'is' should be 'are'. 'Very much beautiful' is incorrect; 'very beautiful' is correct. 'Very much to my heart' is awkward; 'very dear to my heart' is a natural expression.

× So I will spend most of the time in Kakadu Valley looking after our business is an growing up and taking education around it.

✓ So I spend most of my time in Kakadu Valley looking after our business as it is growing and pursuing my education there.

The sentence has incorrect verb forms and structure. 'Will spend' is future tense but context suggests present habitual action, so 'spend' is better. 'Is an growing up' is incorrect; 'as it is growing' is correct. 'Taking education around it' is awkward; 'pursuing my education there' is clearer.

× He is definitely my hometown is very much good place for the young people because our different types of war and head offices that is established by the government provides different types of Sports Club activities, computer courses to these students and youth to make them more secure and more reliable.

✓ My hometown is definitely a very good place for young people because different types of work and head offices established by the government provide various sports club activities and computer courses to students and youth to make them more skilled and confident.

The sentence starts with 'He is' which is incorrect for a place. 'War' is likely a typo for 'work'. 'That is established' should be 'established' to agree with plural 'offices'. 'More secure and more reliable' is unclear; 'more skilled and confident' fits better in context.