Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct by avoiding unnecessary fillers and correcting sentence structure. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid redundancy. For example, you can directly state the location and a brief description without repeating or adding filler words.

例: My hometown is Vishakhapatnam, located in the southern part of India. It is a beautiful city surrounded by the Bay of Bengal, with a lovely beach on one side.

提案: Focus on making your sentences complete and clear. Avoid pauses and filler words like 'uhm'. Also, provide specific reasons or feelings to support your answer, and use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: One of my favourite things about my hometown is the beach. I enjoy spending time there alone, especially when I feel worried or stressed, because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

提案: Improve your grammar by using correct verb tenses and sentence structures. Avoid repetition and filler words. Also, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words.

例: I have lived in my hometown for almost 25 years. I am very attached to it because of my family and many childhood memories there.

提案: Work on clarity and coherence by structuring your answer logically and avoiding incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons or examples. Also, correct grammar and vocabulary usage will improve your answer.

例: I think my hometown is a good place for children because it has beautiful parks and good schools. However, I would recommend it more for older people who prefer a peaceful environment.

× My hometown is Vishakhapatnam at located in the southern part of India.

✓ My hometown is Vishakhapatnam, located in the southern part of India.

The phrase 'at located' is incorrect; 'located' should directly follow the noun it describes without 'at'. Also, a comma is needed before 'located' to separate the clauses properly.

× Oh it's beautiful place with one side beach at the It's surrounded by a Bay of Bengal.

✓ Oh, it's a beautiful place with a beach on one side. It's surrounded by the Bay of Bengal.

The sentence lacks the indefinite article 'a' before 'beautiful place' and 'beach'. Also, 'at the' is incorrect before 'It's surrounded'; 'on one side' is the correct preposition for the beach location. 'Bay of Bengal' requires the definite article 'the'.

× One of the most. Favorite thing of my hometown is the beach.

✓ One of my most favorite things about my hometown is the beach.

The original sentence is fragmented and incorrectly structured. 'One of the most' is incomplete; it should be 'One of my most favorite things' to be grammatically correct.

× I really love enjoying it all alone when I was up. Worried or when I was. Uhm, in a hectic situations I usually prefer.

✓ I really love enjoying it all alone when I am worried or when I am in hectic situations; I usually prefer it.

The original sentence incorrectly mixes past tense 'was' with present habitual actions. Since the speaker talks about general preferences, present tense 'am' is appropriate. Also, 'a hectic situations' should be 'hectic situations' without 'a'.

× It's almost. 25 years for now, I have been lived in my place.

✓ It's been almost 25 years now that I have lived in my place.

The phrase 'I have been lived' is incorrect; the present perfect continuous 'have been living' or present perfect 'have lived' should be used. Also, 'for now' is better expressed as 'now' or 'up to now'.

× Uh, I'm so attached to my family and extended family and, and also my put and also my hometown because I had a lot of memories there right from my childhood.

✓ I'm very attached to my family, extended family, and also my hometown because I have a lot of memories there from my childhood.

The phrase 'my put' is unclear and likely a mispronunciation or error; it should be removed. Also, 'had' should be 'have' to indicate ongoing relevance. The sentence is corrected for clarity and pronoun use.

× Not really, I always see my hometown is a good place for either kids because we have a beautiful parks and a very good schools wherever basic.

✓ Not really, I always see my hometown as a good place for kids because we have beautiful parks and very good schools with basic facilities.

'Either kids' is incorrect; 'kids' alone suffices. 'A beautiful parks' and 'a very good schools' are incorrect due to article misuse with plural nouns. 'Wherever basic' is unclear and corrected to 'with basic facilities' for clarity.

× Come a basic will be very good and but uh, I always and also recommend for older people to best place that further.

✓ The basic facilities are very good, and I also recommend it as the best place for older people.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. It is restructured to convey the intended meaning clearly, correcting sentence fragments and awkward phrasing.