Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: My hometown is Sharper, located in the northern part of India. It offers many amenities, including good hospitals and a strong education system. Moreover, it is not very crowded, which makes it a comfortable place to live.

提案: Focus on clear and correct sentence structures. Use linking words like 'also' and 'moreover' appropriately to connect ideas. Provide specific details and avoid repetition to make your answer more effective and natural.

例: I like many things about my hometown, such as the modern malls, various shops, and the excellent education system. Also, the environment is very calm and peaceful because there is not much crowd.

提案: Use correct tense and sentence structure to express duration. Start with a clear topic sentence and provide supporting details if needed. Avoid unclear phrases and ensure your answer is natural and easy to understand.

例: I have lived there with my family since my childhood because I was born and brought up in that area.

提案: Make your answer clearer by using correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. Be specific about the amenities and avoid unclear or incorrect words to improve naturalness and effectiveness.

例: Yes, definitely. My hometown provides many amenities for young people, such as playgrounds, parks, and recreational centers, which make it a comfortable and enjoyable place for children.

× I will my hometown named as a sharper and it is situated in northern part of India.

✓ My hometown is named Sharper and it is situated in the northern part of India.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'will' and 'named as' which is not proper grammar. The correct form uses the verb 'is' to describe the hometown and omits 'as' after 'named'. Also, 'the northern part' requires the definite article 'the'.

× it is situated in northern part of India.

✓ it is situated in the northern part of India.

When referring to a specific part of a place, the definite article 'the' is required before 'northern part'.

× It has a lot of amenities such as good hospitals, better education system and many more and it is not a so much crowded place so it is the best area for living.

✓ It has many amenities such as good hospitals, a better education system and many more, and it is not a very crowded place, so it is the best area for living.

Use 'many' for countable nouns like 'amenities'. 'Better education system' needs an article 'a'. 'So much crowded' is incorrect; 'very crowded' is appropriate. Also, commas improve sentence clarity.

× I basically I like all these things about my home brown such as urbanized malls, shops and better education system.

✓ Basically, I like all these things about my hometown such as urbanized malls, shops and a better education system.

The phrase 'I basically I' is redundant; 'Basically, I' is correct. 'Home brown' is a typo for 'hometown'. 'Better education system' needs the article 'a'.

× Moreover, I also like environment of my hometown because there is a note so much crowd and it is very calm and peaceful.

✓ Moreover, I also like the environment of my hometown because there is not so much crowd and it is very calm and peaceful.

The noun 'environment' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific environment. 'Note so much crowd' is a typo and should be 'not so much crowd'.

× I'm living over there with my family since my childhood as I born in Proto Pipe brought up in that area.

✓ I have been living there with my family since my childhood as I was born in Proto Pipe and brought up in that area.

The present continuous 'I'm living' is incorrect for an action continuing from the past; present perfect continuous 'have been living' is appropriate. 'I born' should be 'I was born'. The sentence also needs 'and' to connect 'born' and 'brought up'.

× Yes, definitely there are a lot of the amenities provided for young children which makes through labor very freely and comfort table as there are so many things such as play, playgrounds, James and so many other things which are very famous for among young children.

✓ Yes, definitely there are a lot of amenities provided for young children which make their leisure time very free and comfortable as there are many things such as parks, playgrounds, games and many other things which are very popular among young children.

'A lot of the amenities' should be 'a lot of amenities' without 'the'. 'Makes through labor very freely and comfort table' is incorrect and unclear; it should be 'make their leisure time very free and comfortable'. 'Play' should be 'parks' or 'play areas'. 'James' is likely a typo for 'games'. 'Famous for among' is incorrect; 'popular among' is correct.