Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, grammatical and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I’m a university student majoring in finance.”), then add one supporting detail about graduation and work plans using linking words. Avoid filler words and grammatical errors (e.g., use "I am" or "I'm" and correct noun phrases: "an oil company").

例: I’m a university student majoring in finance, and I will graduate this month. After graduation, I plan to work as an accountant for an oil company.

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid repetition. Use one clear sentence to state the location, then add a specific reason with a linking word (e.g., "because" or "since"). Correct awkward phrases ("offers many jobs" not "many job").

例: I plan to work in Shanghai because the company I will join is based there. I’m excited to live in an international city since it offers many job opportunities and a diverse culture.

提案: Be fluent and reduce hesitations. Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give two specific supporting reasons using linking words like "because" or "and". Use correct grammar ("people who have the same goals") and finish the sentence coherently—avoid trailing off.

例: Yes, I think Shanghai is a great place to work because it is an international city and offers many job opportunities. In addition, the varied lifestyle means you can meet people who share similar goals and interests.

提案: Give a full, coherent answer instead of short fragments and hesitations. Start with a clear statement of preference, then explain why with a specific reason. Fix grammar and incomplete thoughts ("it has many job opportunities").

例: Yes, I would. I like Shanghai because it is a large international city with many job opportunities and a vibrant lifestyle.

提案: Provide a clear, structured response: state immediate plans first, then future ambitions using a linking phrase like "in the long term". Remove fillers and repetition ("for for"). Be specific about what "work for myself" means (e.g., start a practice, consultancy).

例: After graduation, I plan to work as an accountant for an oil company. In the long term, I hope to start my own accounting consultancy so I can be self-employed and manage clients directly.

× And the university student major in finance and I'm going to graduate this month.

✓ I am a university student majoring in finance and I'm going to graduate this month.

The original sentence lacks a proper subject-verb structure and uses incorrect verb form. 'And the university student major in finance' is fragmentary and 'major' should be 'majoring' (verb + -ing) to indicate current study. Combine clauses with 'I am' to form a complete sentence and use 'majoring' for the present continuous activity. Suggestion: Start with the subject 'I' and use 'am majoring' or 'major' with 'I major in' for simple present.'},{