Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. "I'm a student"), correct the name of the place, and avoid repetition and filler words. Use one or two supporting details (what you study and why) linked with a simple connector.

例: I'm a student. I'm studying Dutch at a language school in The Hague to improve my communication skills, so I am not working right now.

提案: Answer the question directly: state the workplace and give one or two specific reasons why it is good. Remove vague adjectives like "perfect" and avoid unnecessary hedges.

例: I work at a small supermarket on the edge of my town. It's a quiet place with friendly colleagues, which helps me stay focused and productive.

提案: Be clear and fluent. Give one clear reason and explain it with a short example. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and sentence fragments. Use linking words (for example, because) to connect reason and explanation.

例: Yes, I think it's a good place to work because the supermarket is small, so there are fewer customers and less stress, which makes it easier to help people quickly.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific supporting detail. Avoid repeating the same point; instead give a different or expanded reason (e.g. friendly colleagues, learning opportunities). Reduce fillers and correct grammar ("it has helped me").

例: Yes, I like working there. It's quiet and small, which makes it easier to communicate with customers, and my colleagues are friendly so I feel comfortable asking for help.

提案: Be precise about the career and study plans. Use correct job title ("a chemical engineer") and name the university clearly. Give one or two reasons why you chose this path and link them logically. Remove fillers and correct grammar ("I enjoy solving math problems").

例: I plan to become a chemical engineer and I intend to study chemical engineering at The Hague University. I chose this because I enjoy chemistry and mathematics and I like solving practical problems related to industry.

× Well, actually I'm currently a student studying at Dutch and a school located in Denha to improve my language skills.

✓ Well, actually I'm currently a student studying Dutch at a school located in Den Haag to improve my language skills.

The original sentence has awkward word order and incorrect preposition placement. 'Studying at Dutch and a school' is incorrect; the correct structure is 'studying Dutch at a school'. Also 'Denha' is likely 'Den Haag' (The Hague). Use 'studying Dutch' (language as object) and place 'at a school located in Den Haag' after it.

× So now I do not work at this time.

✓ So I am not working at the moment.

The phrase 'do not work at this time' is grammatically acceptable but unnatural in this context. The continuous present 'I am not working at the moment' matches the ongoing temporary situation. Use 'at the moment' or 'currently'.

× Well, currently I am working in a small supermarket near to my town and it is a peaceful and perfect place to work and to be more productive.

✓ Well, currently I am working at a small supermarket near my town and it is a peaceful and perfect place to work and be more productive.

Use 'at' with workplaces (work at a supermarket). 'Near to my town' should be 'near my town'. Also remove the second 'to' before 'be more productive' and simplify 'work and be more productive'.

× Well, I generally believe that it is a perfect place to work at uh, due to a lot of reason.

✓ Well, I generally believe that it is a perfect place to work, due to a lot of reasons.

Avoid ending with a preposition 'work at' here; 'place to work' is correct. Use plural 'reasons' after 'a lot of'. Remove filler 'uh'.

× One of them is that, uh, the place is very, uh, small, which can, uh, makes the people there less and to deal and keep, uh, cope with the different.

✓ One of them is that the place is very small, which can make fewer people work there and makes it easier to deal with different tasks.

After 'which can' use base verb 'make' not 'makes'. 'Makes the people there less' is ungrammatical; use 'make fewer people work there' or 'result in fewer people'. 'To deal and keep cope with the different' is unclear; corrected to 'makes it easier to deal with different tasks'.

× Uh, I would say that yes, I really enjoy the place that I work due to several reasons.

✓ I would say that yes, I really enjoy the place where I work for several reasons.

Use 'where I work' instead of 'that I work'. 'Due to several reasons' is better expressed as 'for several reasons'.

× One of them is that the place there is pretty quiet and very small, which is, uh, goods good, uh, important good point for me because, uh, it's helped me to communicate easily.

✓ One reason is that the place is pretty quiet and small, which is a good and important point for me because it helps me communicate easily.

Remove redundant 'there' and stuttering. 'Goods good' is incorrect; use 'a good and important point'. Tense: 'it's helped me' should be 'it helps me' to indicate a general benefit. 'Communicate easily' is correct phrasing.

× Well, my future plan is to be a chemical engineering since I am now planning to study chemical engineering at The Hague University because, uh, I love to study chemistry and mathematics as well.

✓ Well, my future plan is to become a chemical engineer; I am planning to study chemical engineering at The Hague University because I love chemistry and mathematics.

Use 'become a chemical engineer' (profession) not 'be a chemical engineering'. Rephrase to avoid repetition. 'Love to study chemistry' is acceptable but 'love chemistry' is more natural. Remove filler 'uh'.

× I love these UH-2 subjects, uh, because I enjoy so, uh, solving problem math problems.

✓ I love these subjects because I enjoy solving math problems.

Remove 'UH-2' which seems like noise. 'Enjoy so, solving problem math problems' is ungrammatical; use 'enjoy solving math problems'. Remove fillers and extra words for clarity.