Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要直接且结构清晰，避免重复和填充词。开头用一句简洁的主题句说明当前身份及工作年限，然后补充公司类型和职位即可。注意语法时态一致（现在完成时或一般现在时）并减少“umm”“already”重复。

例: I have been working as a salesman in a foreign trade company for about three years. I started after graduation and now handle client orders and product inquiries for international customers.

提案: 回答应直接指出工作城市和公司，然后简要说明岗位职责或为什么选择那里。避免重复句子和不必要的细节。使用连接词让句子更连贯。

例: I work in Shenzhen for a foreign trade company. I moved here after graduation and have been selling products to overseas clients, so the city’s business environment suits my career.

提案: 回答要具体说明为什么是一个好地方，给出一到两个明确理由（例如就业机会、行业集中、职业发展），并使用连接词如“because”或“so”。注意语法和冠词用法。

例: Yes, it is. Shenzhen offers many job opportunities and has a strong technology and trade industry, so young people can quickly find positions and develop their careers.

提案: 回答要给出明确原因并完成句子，避免犹豫词和重复。可以列举具体方面（同事支持、管理风格、工作氛围）并用连词连接。

例: Yes, I like working there because my colleagues and supervisors are friendly and supportive, and the department has a cooperative atmosphere that makes teamwork easy.

提案: 回答应明确职业目标和具体计划，使用有组织的结构（首先...然后...最后...）。提供具体行动例如提升产品知识、锻炼团队管理能力或寻求晋升机会，尽量减少停顿词。

例: In the short term, I plan to stay with this company to deepen my product knowledge and gain more sales experience. Later I hope to take on team management responsibilities and eventually move into a senior sales or export manager role.

× Yes, umm, I already worked for about 3 years. I have already worked for about 3 years now my job as a salesman in a company in a foreign trade company.

✓ Yes, umm, I have already worked for about three years as a salesman in a foreign trade company.

原句中混用了过去时“worked”和现在完成时“have already worked”，且语序混乱，冗余“in a company in a foreign trade company”。根据语境（现在仍在从事这份工作）应使用现在完成时表示从过去开始持续到现在的动作；同时合并重复信息并调整语序。建议使用“have already worked”并把公司性质放在结尾，数字用单词书写更正式。

× After graduation, I came to Shenzhen and looked for a salesman job. And I already worked for three years. I loved my job. I loved my job.

✓ After graduation, I came to Shenzhen and looked for a salesman job. I have worked there for three years. I love my job.

第二句“already worked for three years”应使用现在完成时“have worked”来表示从过去持续到现在的经验；原句中“I loved my job”用了过去时，暗示现在不喜欢，但语境应为现在仍喜欢，因此改为现在时“love”。避免重复句子。

× Sure, of course lots of from young people will come to Shenzhen after they graduation because Shenzhen is a city which can provide many opportunities for different people and the they can get a lot.

✓ Sure, of course lots of young people will come to Shenzhen after they graduate because Shenzhen is a city that can provide many opportunities for different people and they can gain a lot.

原句中“lots of from young people”混入多余介词“from”；“they graduation”应为动词“graduate”；“which”可改为更自然的“that”；“get a lot”不够准确，改为“gain a lot”。这些都是介词和词类使用错误，需删去多余介词并改正动词形式。

× Yes, uh, I like the current place. I, I, I worked because the colleagues, the leaders and all the, the, all of the department are very friendly and.

✓ Yes, uh, I like the current place. I work here because my colleagues, the leaders, and everyone in the department are very friendly.

原句中代词和名词搭配混乱：“I worked”时态不对（应为现在继续工作）；“the colleagues, the leaders and all the... department”中“all of the department”用法不当，应为“everyone in the department”或“the whole department”。同时删去多余重复的“the”。本句需修正代词和名词短语以表达正确意义并保持现在时。

× I think, uh, at the start, I would like to spend more time and in this company for some, uh, for some knowledge about the products. Then I, I need to reach my experience about, uh, team teamwork. Yeah, I think.

✓ I think, at the start, I would like to spend more time in this company to gain knowledge about the products. Then I need to improve my experience in teamwork.

原句中“不定式/动名词用法混淆”：应使用“spend more time in this company to gain knowledge”而不是“and in this company for some...”。“reach my experience about team teamwork”不符合英文表达，应改为“improve my experience in teamwork”或“gain teamwork experience”。同时去掉重复词“team teamwork”。这些是动词后接-ing或不定式结构使用不当的问题。