Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (articles, verb forms), avoid trailing incomplete sentences. Add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep under five sentences.

例: I work full-time as a management accountant for a multinational pharmaceutical company. In my role, I analyse financial statements and prepare audit reports. In addition, I also handle monthly budget reconciliations to support management decisions.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, correct word choice and grammar, and use linking words to organise details. Avoid literal translations (e.g. 'convenient for us to eating') — use correct verb forms and prepositions. Keep it to two or three sentences with specific, relevant details.

例: I work in Shanghai; our office is in the southern part of the city near a subway station. Because of its central location, there are many shops and restaurants nearby, which makes it convenient to grab lunch.

提案: Answer directly and use correct collocations (e.g. 'comprehensive training program', 'HR or team will help us'), avoid vague or incorrect nouns ('body' is wrong). Add a linking word and a concrete example of support. Keep it natural and concise.

例: Yes, it is. The company offers a comprehensive training program for new hires, so employees understand their roles quickly. In addition, our HR team provides timely support whenever we encounter problems.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence expressing your opinion, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Correct phrasing: 'besides that' → 'besides' or 'in addition', and use correct verb forms ('provides', 'organises'). Avoid unclear phrases like 'activities to enter'.

例: Yes, I like it. First, the office is within walking distance of my apartment, which is very convenient; in addition, the company offers a competitive salary and organises regular team-building activities.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence about your plan, then give specific actions and reasons using linking words. Correct grammar and word choice: 'study more professional skills' → 'develop professional skills', 'using' → 'use'. Limit to three sentences and include concrete examples of skills or tools.

例: In the next five years I plan to develop my professional skills in management accounting. For example, I will take advanced courses in financial analysis and learn to use AI tools like data analytics platforms to improve reporting efficiency.

× Currently I work full time as a management accountant in multinational pharmaceutical company.

✓ Currently I work full time as a management accountant in a multinational pharmaceutical company.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'multinational pharmaceutical company'. Use 'a' when mentioning a singular countable noun for the first time. Suggestion: include 'a' before such nouns.

× In my daily work, I need to analysis the financial statement and prepare the financial report for audit.

✓ In my daily work, I need to analyze the financial statements and prepare the financial reports for audit.

Incorrect verb form 'analysis' (a noun) used instead of the base verb 'analyze' and singular/plural issues: 'financial statement' and 'financial report' should be plural when referring to regular tasks. Use the base verb after 'need to' and plural nouns when referring to recurring items.

× Besides that I also need to.

✓ Besides that, I also have other duties.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks an object or verb phrase. Provide a complete clause describing what 'need to' refers to. Suggestion: complete the thought, e.g., 'I also have other duties' or specify the duties.

× Currently I work in Shanghai and my company Look is located in the South of Shanghai and is near the subway station and there are many shopping centers around my company.

✓ Currently I work in Shanghai and my company, Look, is located in the south of Shanghai near a subway station, and there are many shopping centers around the company.

Several issues: 'South' should be lowercase 'south' when used as a direction; missing commas around company name; 'near the subway station' should be 'near a subway station' unless a specific station was previously mentioned; 'around my company' is awkward, use 'around the company'. Correct punctuation and articles improve clarity.

× It's very convenient for us to eating.

✓ It's very convenient for us to eat.

Incorrect verb form 'eating' after 'to' which should be followed by the base verb 'eat' (infinitive). Use 'to eat' to indicate purpose or convenience.

× Definitely, our company provides A comprehensive training program for new employees, so we can know about our job clearly and besides that, if we have any issues, our body will help us in time.

✓ Definitely, our company provides a comprehensive training program for new employees, so we can understand our jobs clearly, and besides that, if we have any issues, our HR department will help us in time.

Capital 'A' should be lowercase; 'know about our job clearly' is unnatural—use 'understand our jobs clearly'; 'body' is incorrect word choice for the department that helps employees—use 'HR department' or 'the company' depending on meaning. These changes correct article use, word choice, and clarity.

× first of all, my workplace is close to my apartment within walking distance and beside that our company provides a reasonable salary for us and also provide many activities to enter.

✓ First of all, my workplace is within walking distance of my apartment, and besides that, our company provides a reasonable salary and also offers many activities for employees to join.

Preposition 'within walking distance of' is the correct structure. 'Beside that' should be 'besides that'. 'Provides a reasonable salary for us' is better as 'provides a reasonable salary'. Verb agreement: 'company... also provide' should be 'also offers' (singular subject 'company' takes 'offers'). 'Activities to enter' is unnatural; use 'activities to join'.

× I have the clear career plan for myself in next 5 years.

✓ I have a clear career plan for the next five years.

Article needed: 'a clear career plan'. Use 'the next five years' (include 'the' and spell out numbers in formal speech). The original used awkward word order 'for myself' which is unnecessary; native phrasing omits it.

× Basically I would like to study more professional skills on my current work and also using AI tools to help me improve the efficiency in my current work.

✓ Basically I would like to study more professional skills related to my current work and also use AI tools to help me improve efficiency at work.

After 'would like to' use the base verb 'study' and not a gerund for the second verb—use 'use' rather than 'using'. 'On my current work' is incorrect preposition; use 'related to my current work' or 'in my current work'. Remove repetitive phrase 'in my current work' and use 'at work' or 'in my current role'.