Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for better fluency. For example, instead of saying 'on every day I meet a lot of kids and it makes my day all good,' you could say 'I meet many children daily, which brightens my day.' Also, keep your answer concise within 4-5 sentences.

例: Currently, I am a student and also work as a teacher at a childcare centre. I really enjoy my job because I get to interact with many children every day, which makes my day enjoyable and fulfilling.

提案: Your answer is relevant and informative, but try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, you can say 'I work as a teacher at Childcare Morocco Center in Kimberley, which is quite far from my hometown, Cranbrook.' This will make your answer more coherent and natural.

例: I work as a teacher at Childcare Morocco Center in Kimberley, which is quite far from my hometown, Cranbrook.

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm, but try to avoid repetition and improve grammar. Instead of repeating 'good place to work,' you can say 'I really enjoy working there.' Also, correct the grammar in 'So it make my day super good' to 'which makes my day very pleasant.' Use linking words like 'because' and 'which' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, definitely. I really enjoy working there because every day when the children arrive, they greet me with big hugs and say good morning, which makes my day very pleasant.

提案: Your answer is heartfelt but contains hesitations and grammatical errors. Try to speak more fluently and avoid filler words like 'uh.' Also, improve sentence structure: for example, 'I love my workplace because meeting my colleagues and manager every day brightens my day. Moreover, I enjoy being a daycare teacher since I love children and feel happy and blessed to be around them all day.'

例: Yes, of course. I love my workplace because meeting my colleagues and manager every day brightens my day. Moreover, I enjoy being a daycare teacher since I love children and feel happy and blessed to be around them all day.

提案: Your answer conveys your plans but has repetition and informal language. Use formal expressions and avoid repeating 'my ECE.' For example, say 'I plan to complete my Early Childhood Education (ECE) qualification. After that, I intend to start a home-based daycare with my sister to teach children from our home.' This makes your answer clearer and more professional.

例: I plan to complete my Early Childhood Education (ECE) qualification. After that, I intend to start a home-based daycare with my sister to teach children from our home.

× Right now I'm a student but I also work as a teacher in a childcare center and I love my job a lot because on every day I meet a lot of kids and it makes my day all good.

✓ Right now I'm a student but I also work as a teacher in a childcare center and I love my job a lot because every day I meet a lot of kids and it makes my day very good.

The phrase 'on every day' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'every day' without 'on'. 'Every day' is an adverbial phrase meaning 'each day'. Using 'on' before 'every day' is a preposition error.

× So I'm working as a teacher in a daycare and my workplace is Childcare Morocco Center in Kimberley.

✓ So I work as a teacher in a daycare and my workplace is Childcare Morocco Center in Kimberley.

The present continuous tense 'I'm working' is less appropriate here because the speaker is describing a regular job, so simple present 'I work' is better to express habitual action.

× It is quite far from my hometown which is in Cranbrook.

✓ It is quite far from my hometown, which is in Cranbrook.

A comma is needed before 'which' to correctly separate the relative clause. This is a punctuation issue related to sentence clarity.

× Yes, definitely. It's a very good place to work as a teacher there. It's my pleasure to be there because on every day when kids arrive they always give a big hug and good morning.

✓ Yes, definitely. It's a very good place to work as a teacher there. It's my pleasure to be there because every day when kids arrive they always give a big hug and say good morning.

Again, 'on every day' should be 'every day'. Also, 'good morning' should be preceded by 'say' to form a correct verb phrase.

× So it make my day super good.

✓ So it makes my day super good.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'it' is third person singular, so the verb should be 'makes' not 'make'.

× Yes, of course, I love my, uh, workplace because on every day, whenever I go and, uh, meet my colleagues and my manager, it makes my day a super good.

✓ Yes, of course, I love my workplace because every day, whenever I go and meet my colleagues and my manager, it makes my day super good.

Remove 'on' before 'every day' and remove unnecessary commas. Also, 'a super good' is incorrect; 'super good' without 'a' is correct.

× Apart from that, I love to being a teacher, uh, as a, in a daycare because I love kids and I feel so happy and blessed that I'm around the kids like with all day.

✓ Apart from that, I love being a teacher in a daycare because I love kids and I feel so happy and blessed that I'm around the kids all day long.

Incorrect verb form: 'love to being' should be 'love being'. Also, 'like with all day' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'all day long' or 'all day'.

× So my future plans are I wanna do my ECE right now and my ECE.

✓ So my future plans are I want to do my ECE right now and my ECE.

'Wanna' is informal and should be replaced with 'want to' in formal speech or writing.

× So after completing my ECA I want to start a daycare at home with my sister so that we can uh teach kids from our home.

✓ So after completing my ECE, I want to start a daycare at home with my sister so that we can teach kids from our home.

'ECA' is likely a typo for 'ECE'. Also, a comma is needed after 'ECE' to separate clauses properly. Removing filler 'uh' improves clarity.