Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答不够自然且含糊，语法和表达有误。建议直接回答职业身份，避免无意义的比喻，使用简单明了的句子。

例: I am currently working for the government as an administrative assistant.

提案: 回答较完整，但句子结构稍显冗长，缺少适当的连接词。建议使用连接词使表达更流畅，并注意语法准确。

例: I work in Yunnan, close to my home, so I usually walk to the office. However, if the weather is too hot, I take the bus or drive, which is very convenient.

提案: 表达不清晰且语法错误较多，内容不连贯。建议简洁明了地表达观点，使用正确的语法和词汇，并避免口头语。

例: I don't think it's a good place to work because there is a wet market downstairs, and the hygiene is poor with frequent sightings of mice and cockroaches.

提案: 回答内容不够清晰，句子结构混乱。建议直接表达喜欢或不喜欢的原因，使用连贯的句子和恰当的连接词。

例: I don't like my workplace because I work in the same building as the public service center, and it can be quite crowded and noisy.

提案: 表达有一定思路，但语法和用词错误较多，句子不够流畅。建议简化句子结构，明确表达梦想和原因。

例: My future plan is to own my own business so that I can have flexible working hours and spend more time taking my kids outdoors.

× Yes, I'm working in a government.

✓ Yes, I'm working in the government.

这里的“government”是不可数名词，前面需要加定冠词“the”，表示特定的政府机构。

× I usually need to go services as an Ironman expected.

✓ I usually need to go to services as an Ironman is expected.

动词“go”后面需要加介词“to”表示去某地或某事物。

× I work in Yunnan and nearby my house so I can walk to the office or sometime if the weather is too hot I will take bus or drive.

✓ I work in Yunnan near my house so I can walk to the office or sometimes if the weather is too hot I will take the bus or drive.

“nearby”应改为“near”作介词使用；“sometime”应为副词“sometimes”；“bus”前应加定冠词“the”。

× It's very convenient for me to get to the office.

✓ It's very convenient for me to get to the office.

此句无明显介词错误，保持原句。

× Actually, I think it's not a very good place to work because, uh, downstairs is a wet market.

✓ Actually, I think it's not a very good place to work because, uh, downstairs there is a wet market.

此处缺少“there is”结构，表示存在某物。

× I think the hygiene is not very good because some mouse or the cockroach uh, is appear very often sleep, but luckily, uh, I still have.

✓ I think the hygiene is not very good because some mice or cockroaches appear very often, but luckily, uh, I still have.

“mouse”复数应为“mice”，“cockroach”复数应为“cockroaches”；“is appear”错误，应为“appear”；句子结构混乱，去掉多余词汇。

× Actually, I don't really like the place where I work because I'm in the same building there.

✓ Actually, I don't really like the place where I work because I'm in the same building.

“there”多余，去掉更符合英语表达习惯。

× I'm not of public service like the most of the mainland people who apply for their ID card downstairs in in the same building and they often share the lives together.

✓ I'm not in public service like most of the mainland people who apply for their ID cards downstairs in the same building and they often share their lives together.

“not of public service”应改为“not in public service”；“the most”应为“most”；“ID card”复数应为“ID cards”；去掉重复的“in”。

× Owning my own business is my dream that I can manage my time freely without bidding by the constant time, no working hours every day so that I can manage more easier for my kids for their outdoor.

✓ Owning my own business is my dream so that I can manage my time freely without being bound by fixed hours, with no working hours every day, so that I can better manage my kids' outdoor activities.

“bidding by the constant time”错误，应为“being bound by fixed hours”；“more easier”错误，比较级不能和“more”连用，应为“easier”；句子结构混乱，需调整表达使其更通顺。