Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不够自然，且信息组织混乱。建议简化句子结构，明确表达自己是学生，学校名称和专业，避免重复和错误。

例: I am currently a student at Renjiang University of Science and Technology, where I have been studying economics for two years.

提案: 回答语法错误严重，表达不清晰，信息重复且缺乏连贯性。建议使用简单句子，准确描述工作地点和相关信息，避免重复。

例: I work in Shenzhen, a beautiful city in Guangdong province near Hong Kong. It offers many opportunities for my career.

提案: 回答不够直接，表达不自然，缺少连贯的连接词。建议直接回答问题，并用具体例子支持观点，使用连接词使表达更流畅。

例: Yes, I think Shenzhen is a good place to work because it offers many opportunities. For instance, business students can network and make valuable connections here.

提案: 回答中语法错误和表达不自然，信息组织不清晰。建议简化句子，明确表达愿望和原因，使用连接词使句子连贯。

例: To be honest, I would prefer to work in Sichuan, which is in West China, because I like its mild weather with an average temperature of 12 degrees.

提案: 回答表达基本清楚，但语法错误和重复用词影响流畅性。建议简化句子，避免重复，使用连接词使表达更自然。

例: I am currently studying economics, like my parents who graduated in this field. In the future, I plan to work in a bank and earn a good income.

× Now I'm a student, I currently studied in Renjiang University of Science and Technology, have been two years and majored in economic and economic loyal direction.

✓ Now I'm a student. I am currently studying at Renjiang University of Science and Technology. I have been here for two years and am majoring in economics and economic law.

句子中使用了过去时态'studied'，但描述的是现在正在进行的动作，应使用现在进行时'studying'。此外，'economic loyal direction'应为'economic law'，且句子结构需要调整以符合英语表达习惯。

× Now I'm work in Shenzhen city where it's located in South Chinese on Guangdong province is nearby the Hong Kong.

✓ Now I work in Shenzhen city, which is located in southern China in Guangdong province, near Hong Kong.

'I'm work'是错误的，应该用一般现在时'I work'。此外，地理位置描述需要用正确的介词和从句结构。

× Now I'm work in Shenzhen city where it's located in South Chinese on Guangdong province is nearby the Hong Kong.

✓ Now I work in Shenzhen city, which is located in southern China in Guangdong province, near Hong Kong.

介词使用错误，'on Guangdong province'应为'in Guangdong province'，'nearby the Hong Kong'应为'near Hong Kong'。

× It is a very beautiful city in Shenzhen city.

✓ Shenzhen is a very beautiful city.

句子结构重复且不自然，'in Shenzhen city'多余，应简化为'Shenzhen is a very beautiful city'。

× It can give me some opportunity.

✓ It can give me some opportunities.

句子结构不完整，'opportunity'应为复数形式'opportunities'，且前面应明确主语指代。

× I spot on this because I consider that if you studied in Shenzhen, you can get some opportunities.

✓ I agree with this because I consider that if you study in Shenzhen, you can get some opportunities.

'I spot on this'表达错误，应为'I agree with this'。'studied'应为一般现在时'study'，因为是泛指条件。

× I spot on this because I consider that if you studied in Shenzhen, you can get some opportunities.

✓ I agree with this because I consider that if you study in Shenzhen, you can get some opportunities.

条件句中应使用一般现在时，'studied'为过去式不符合语境。

× For example, if you majored in business, you can make some friends in this field.

✓ For example, if you major in business, you can make some friends in this field.

条件句中应使用一般现在时，'majored'为过去式不符合语境。

× To be honest, I'm more than willing to working in Sichuan program where located in West China.

✓ To be honest, I'm more than willing to work in Sichuan province, which is located in West China.

'willing to'后应接动词原形，不能用动名词'working'。此外，'program'应为'province'，地名错误。

× To be honest, I'm more than willing to working in Sichuan program where located in West China.

✓ To be honest, I'm more than willing to work in Sichuan province, which is located in West China.

'where located'缺少主语，应为'which is located'。

× I really I like is the mild weather, the average temperature is 12°.

✓ What I really like is the mild weather; the average temperature is 12°.

句子结构混乱，缺少主语和谓语，应调整为完整句子。

× You know, now I'm studied in economics and my parents also graduated in this field.

✓ You know, now I'm studying economics and my parents also graduated in this field.

'I'm studied'错误，应为现在进行时'I'm studying'。

× You know, now I'm studied in economics and my parents also graduated in this field.

✓ You know, now I'm studying economics and my parents also graduated in this field.

'graduated'使用正确，表示过去完成动作。

× In the future, I want to follow their footprints working in the bank and earn more money in the future.

✓ In the future, I want to follow in their footsteps by working in a bank and earning more money.

'follow their footprints'应为'follow in their footsteps'，'working'和'earn'应改为动名词形式以符合句子结构。