Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use correct verb forms and more natural expressions. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid redundancy.

例: I am not currently working because I recently graduated from college. I plan to study nursing for my bachelor's degree since I am passionate about helping others and building a career in healthcare.

提案: Your answer repeats information and has grammatical mistakes. Try to answer directly and avoid repeating previous answers. Use linking words to make your response coherent.

例: I am not working at the moment because I just graduated. I plan to study nursing for my bachelor's degree soon.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains errors. Make sure to understand the question and respond appropriately. Use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Provide specific reasons or examples to support your opinion.

例: Yes, nursing is a good profession in my country because there are many facilities and opportunities. It allows us to help others and develop a rewarding career.

提案: Your answer is confusing and contains unclear phrases. Try to express your ideas clearly and use correct grammar. If you don't have experience, you can say so and explain your expectations.

例: Since I am not working yet, I don't have experience with a workplace. However, I hope to work in a friendly and supportive environment in the future.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by using more varied vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence.

例: I plan to study nursing because I am passionate about helping others and want to build a career in healthcare. In the future, I hope to work in a comfortable and friendly environment since I believe that such a workplace boosts productivity and job satisfaction.

× I am currently not work as I am graduated from my college and I am looking forward to study nursing for my bachelors because I am passionate about helping others and building career in health care.

✓ I am currently not working as I have graduated from my college and I am looking forward to studying nursing for my bachelor's because I am passionate about helping others and building a career in health care.

The verb 'work' should be in the present participle form 'working' after 'am currently not'. 'Am graduated' is incorrect; the correct form is 'have graduated' to indicate a completed action. 'Looking forward to study' should be 'looking forward to studying' because 'look forward to' is followed by a gerund. 'Bachelors' should be possessive 'bachelor's'. 'Building career' needs an article 'a career'.

× As I have already told that I am currently not working at the moment.

✓ As I have already told you, I am currently not working at the moment.

The phrase 'have already told' requires an object, such as 'you'. Without it, the sentence is incomplete. 'At the moment' is redundant with 'currently' but acceptable.

× I recently graduated from my college and I am planning to study nursing for for my bachelor's.

✓ I recently graduated from my college and I am planning to study nursing for my bachelor's.

The word 'for' is repeated twice; one should be removed for correct grammar.

× Yes, it is a good place to walk because there is lots of facilities in my country in nursing.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work because there are lots of facilities in my country in nursing.

The word 'walk' is a typo and should be 'work'. 'There is lots of facilities' is incorrect; 'facilities' is plural, so it should be 'there are lots of facilities'.

× We can help other and build our own career helping other it.

✓ We can help others and build our own careers by helping others.

'Other' should be plural 'others' when referring to people. 'Career' should be plural 'careers' to match 'our'. The phrase 'helping other it' is incorrect and should be rephrased for clarity.

× Currently I am not working and I don't have any idea about that and after baseless I will work and express my idea like how the place.

✓ Currently, I am not working and I don't have any idea about that. After graduation, I will work and express my ideas about how the place is.

The phrase 'after baseless' is incorrect; likely intended 'after graduation'. The sentence is run-on and unclear; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. 'Express my idea like how the place' is awkward and corrected to 'express my ideas about how the place is'.

× I'm planning to study nursing because I am passionate about helping others and building a career in healthcare.

✓ I'm planning to study nursing because I am passionate about helping others and building a career in healthcare.

This sentence is grammatically correct and requires no correction.

× When I start working in the future, I hope to work in comfortable and friendly environment because I believe that a good place work can improve productivity and job satisfaction.

✓ When I start working in the future, I hope to work in a comfortable and friendly environment because I believe that a good workplace can improve productivity and job satisfaction.

The phrase 'comfortable and friendly environment' needs the article 'a'. 'A good place work' is incorrect; it should be 'a good workplace' or 'a good place to work'.