Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating similar information and correct minor grammar errors, such as 'focus' should be 'focuses'. Try to start with a direct answer and then add brief supporting details.

例: I used to be a student until five years ago. After graduating, I began working as a receptionist at a local gym that focuses on fitness training for teenagers.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more fluent and natural. Avoid redundancy like 'currently' and 'I'm working'. Also, watch for small grammar mistakes and awkward phrasing such as 'which works on teenagers training'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I work as a receptionist at a local gym that specialises in training teenagers. Because of this, I'm around many young people daily, so it can get a bit noisy at times.

提案: Good answer with clear reasons. To improve, use more natural phrasing like 'employee benefits' and avoid repeating 'birthday' twice. Also, try to link your points smoothly for better coherence.

例: Yes, it's a great place to work because it offers several employee benefits, including free gym access and organised activities. They even celebrate staff birthdays with a cake, which makes the atmosphere friendly.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and concise. Use linking words like 'firstly' and 'secondly' correctly, and avoid repeating phrases like 'I do like'. Also, 'employees benefits' should be 'employee benefits'.

例: Yes, I like my workplace for two main reasons. Firstly, it offers great employee benefits like free gym access and organised activities. Secondly, I really enjoy the friendly atmosphere there.

提案: Your answer communicates your goals but has some grammar issues and incomplete sentences. Use correct articles ('an office manager') and complete your thoughts. Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: In the future, I hope to become an office manager because I want to develop my skills and take on more responsibility. I also wish to apply my organisational and leadership abilities in that role.

× Currently I'm working at a local gym which focus on teenagers fitness training.

✓ Currently I'm working at a local gym which focuses on teenagers' fitness training.

The verb 'focus' should be in the third person singular form 'focuses' to agree with the singular subject 'gym'. Also, 'teenagers fitness training' needs a possessive apostrophe to indicate that the fitness training belongs to the teenagers, so it should be 'teenagers' fitness training'.

× Currently I'm working as a receptionist at a local gym which works on teenagers training.

✓ Currently I'm working as a receptionist at a local gym which works on teenagers' training.

The phrase 'teenagers training' requires a possessive apostrophe to show that the training is for teenagers, so it should be 'teenagers' training'.

× I'm surrounded by a lot of teenagers every day and therefore and it gets a little bit noisy sometimes.

✓ I'm surrounded by a lot of teenagers every day and therefore it gets a little bit noisy sometimes.

The sentence contains an unnecessary conjunction 'and' before 'it gets', which should be removed to correct the sentence structure.

× Yes, it is a good place to work because it offers several employees benefits such as free access to the gym, free organized activities, and they even prepared a birthday cake on my birthday.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work because it offers several employee benefits such as free access to the gym, free organized activities, and they even prepared a birthday cake on my birthday.

The phrase 'employees benefits' should be 'employee benefits' because 'employee' acts as an adjective describing the type of benefits, and adjectives are singular in form.

× Yes, I do like the place where I work and first reason is because it offers several employees benefits such as free access to the gym or free organized activity and secondly, I do love this atmosphere.

✓ Yes, I do like the place where I work and the first reason is because it offers several employee benefits such as free access to the gym or free organized activities and secondly, I do love this atmosphere.

The phrase 'employees benefits' should be 'employee benefits' as 'employee' is an adjective here. Also, 'free organized activity' should be plural 'free organized activities' to match the plural 'several'.

× I hope I could become a office manager in the future because I would like to develop my skills and take on more responsibility.

✓ I hope I could become an office manager in the future because I would like to develop my skills and take on more responsibility.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a word starting with a vowel sound like 'office'.

× I hope I could become a office manager in the future because I would like to develop my skills and take on more responsibility.

✓ I hope I can become an office manager in the future because I would like to develop my skills and take on more responsibility.

The modal verb 'could' implies past ability or conditional mood, but here the speaker expresses a present hope for the future, so 'can' is more appropriate.

× I wish I can apply my organizational skills and leadership ability in.

✓ I wish I can apply my organizational skills and leadership ability in the future.

The sentence ends abruptly with the preposition 'in' without an object. Adding 'the future' completes the sentence and clarifies the meaning.