Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but can be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and unclear terms like 'eye labour examination'. Try to directly state your current status and what you are preparing for, using clear and simple language.

例: I have recently completed my +2 level exams, and currently, I am preparing for my Common Entrance Examination to enter university. So, at the moment, I am a student focusing on my studies.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using more natural expressions and adding linking words for coherence. Also, avoid starting sentences with 'Actually' unnecessarily.

例: I am not working at the moment, but in the future, I plan to work for a company related to software engineering.

提案: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and redundancy. Use correct verb forms and avoid repeating words. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I believe it is a good place to work because it has a friendly environment, and the staff members are very cooperative and supportive.

提案: There are some errors in word choice and sentence structure. Use 'staff' instead of 'steps' and improve sentence flow with appropriate linking words.

例: I would definitely like the place where I will work because the staff are friendly and cooperative. This makes it easy to collaborate and complete tasks efficiently.

提案: Your answer is unclear and repetitive. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: Currently, I plan to work in a place that offers good opportunities for personal growth and also allows me to contribute to my country's economic development.

× Recently I have completed my +2 level examinations.

✓ Recently I completed my +2 level examinations.

The present perfect tense 'have completed' is not appropriate here because the time reference 'Recently' suggests a specific past time. In English, when a specific time is mentioned, the simple past tense is preferred.

× So right now I am preparing for my common in level entrance examination and as well as eye labour examination.

✓ So right now I am preparing for my common entrance examination and also the eye labour examination.

The phrase 'common in level entrance examination' is incorrect; it should be 'common entrance examination'. Also, 'and as well as' is redundant; 'and also' or 'as well as' alone is sufficient. Prepositions and conjunctions need to be used correctly to convey meaning clearly.

× That's why I'm right now I'm a student.

✓ That's why right now I am a student.

The sentence has redundant subjects and auxiliary verbs ('I'm right now I'm'). The correct structure places the time expression 'right now' before the verb and uses only one subject and verb.

× Actually I do not do any work, but in the future I am going to work in one company that is related to software engineering.

✓ Actually, I do not work currently, but in the future, I am going to work for a company that is related to software engineering.

The phrase 'do not do any work' is awkward; 'do not work' is more natural. Also, 'in one company' should be 'for a company'. Adding commas improves readability.

× Yes, I think it is a good place to work because the place where I am going to work is have a friendly environment and the staff that that are join in that company are very friendly as well as cooperative.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place to work because the place where I am going to work has a friendly environment and the staff who join that company are very friendly as well as cooperative.

The verb 'is have' is incorrect; it should be 'has' to agree with the singular subject 'place'. Also, 'that that are join' is incorrect; it should be 'who join' to refer to people (staff). Subject-verb agreement and relative pronoun usage are important here.

× I absolutely like the place where I'm going to work in the future because the steps are very cooperative as well as friendly at the same time.

✓ I absolutely like the place where I'm going to work in the future because the staff are very cooperative as well as friendly at the same time.

The word 'steps' is incorrect; it should be 'staff' to refer to employees. Also, 'work in the future' is acceptable, but 'work in' can be omitted for smoother English: 'work in the future' or 'work in that place in the future'.

× Due to this, we can easily collaborate with them and do the tasks that we want.

✓ Because of this, we can easily collaborate with them and do the tasks that we want.

'Due to' is often misused; 'because of' is more appropriate to indicate cause in this context.

× At the moment I'm thinking to work in such a place where I get the good opportunity to explore myself as well as that helps the as well as that helps my country to build some strong economic status.

✓ At the moment, I'm thinking of working in a place where I get a good opportunity to explore myself and that also helps my country to build a strong economic status.

The phrase 'thinking to work' is incorrect; it should be 'thinking of working'. Also, the sentence is repetitive and awkward with 'as well as that helps the as well as that helps'. It should be simplified to 'and that also helps'. Articles 'the' before 'good opportunity' and 'strong economic status' are unnecessary or incorrect; 'a' is appropriate.