Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but try to make it more concise and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating "I am planning to go abroad for masters" and then "I am aiming to apply for the winter one," you can combine these ideas smoothly. Also, use linking words to improve coherence.

例: At the moment, I am neither working nor studying because I have completed my bachelor's degree. However, I plan to pursue a master's degree abroad and, since I missed the fall semester, I am preparing to apply for the winter intake.

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but can be improved by combining sentences to avoid redundancy and improve flow. Also, use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Currently, I am not working, but last year I worked for about six months as a senior student counselor at Compass Education Consultancy.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks clarity. Try to avoid repeating phrases like "really a good place" and "really good environment." Also, explain why it became difficult to work there to add specific supporting details and use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: Initially, it was a good place to work with a positive office environment, so I enjoyed my time there. However, after a few months, I found the work challenging due to increased responsibilities and tight deadlines.

提案: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by making it more natural and concise. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid vague phrases like "I would like the place where I work."

例: Yes, I would enjoy working there because a positive environment and supportive colleagues significantly boost my productivity and motivation.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Avoid repeating phrases like "I want to I want." Also, provide a clear and complete response with specific details about your future plans, using linking words to improve coherence.

例: As I mentioned earlier, I plan to pursue my master's degree abroad, and my future work plans will depend on the subject I choose. Ideally, I want to work in a field related to my studies to gain relevant experience.

× I enjoyed a lot working there

✓ I enjoyed working there a lot

The phrase 'enjoyed a lot working there' is awkward because the adverb 'a lot' should come after the verb phrase 'enjoyed working'. In English, adverbs of degree like 'a lot' typically follow the verb or verb phrase they modify. So, 'I enjoyed working there a lot' is the correct and natural word order.

× I found it very difficult working

✓ I found working there very difficult

The original sentence 'I found it very difficult working' is incomplete and awkward. The gerund phrase 'working' needs an object or place to clarify what was difficult. The correct form is 'I found working there very difficult' which clearly states what was difficult. This follows the pattern 'find + object + adjective' where 'working there' is the object.

× As I have already mentioned that I want to pursue my master's degree abroad, so it depends on the subject

✓ As I have already mentioned, I want to pursue my master's degree abroad; it depends on the subject

Using both 'As' and 'so' together in this sentence is redundant and incorrect. 'As' already introduces a reason clause, so 'so' should be omitted. Also, a comma after 'mentioned' improves clarity. The corrected sentence removes 'so' and uses proper punctuation to connect the ideas.

× Obviously, I want to I want

✓ Obviously, I want to

The phrase 'I want to I want' is incomplete and repetitive, causing a sentence structure error. The sentence should be completed or the repetition removed. Since the sentence is incomplete, the correction is to remove the repeated phrase to avoid confusion. The speaker likely intended to continue but stopped abruptly.