Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to answer the question directly and clearly without unnecessary information. For example, start with your current status (working or studying), then add brief details about your job or study. Avoid mixing personal introduction with the answer.

例: I am currently working as an administrator at the Faculty of Engineering at Forest University in Alexandria. I graduated one year ago.

提案: Your answer is mostly clear but could be more natural and fluent. Avoid repeating words and improve sentence structure. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I work as an administrator at the Faculty of Engineering at Forest University in Alexandria, which is the city I love.

提案: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to give a clear opinion and support it with reasons. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because I graduated from this university, and the job is comfortable and suits me well.

提案: Your answer is understandable but could be more natural and grammatically correct. Use linking words and correct sentence structure to improve clarity.

例: No, I don't like the place where I work because the university is far from my home, and it takes about one hour to get there.

提案: Your answer needs better sentence structure and linking words to sound more natural. Clearly state your ambitions and plans in a logical order.

例: My ambition is to continue in this academic field by first obtaining a master's degree and then pursuing a PhD.

× Hello, my name is I AM 24 years old.

✓ Hello, my name is [Name] and I am 24 years old.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'my name is I AM 24 years old' which mixes the introduction and age. The correct form separates the name and age with 'and I am'. Also, 'I AM' should be 'I am' in lowercase except for the pronoun 'I'. Replace '[Name]' with the actual name.

× I work as administrator at Faculty of Engineering at Forest University in Alexandria and I graduate from one years ago.

✓ I work as an administrator at the Faculty of Engineering at Forest University in Alexandria and I graduated one year ago.

The sentence misses the article 'an' before 'administrator' and 'the' before 'Faculty of Engineering'. Also, 'graduate' should be in past tense 'graduated' because the action happened in the past. 'one years ago' should be 'one year ago' because 'year' is singular.

× OK, I work as an administrator at facility of Engineering in at Forest University in Alexandria.

✓ OK, I work as an administrator at the Faculty of Engineering at Forest University in Alexandria.

The phrase 'facility of Engineering' is incorrect; it should be 'Faculty of Engineering' with the definite article 'the' before it. Also, remove the extra preposition 'in' before 'at Forest University'.

× I work in the same city I love.

✓ I work in the same city that I love.

The sentence is missing the relative pronoun 'that' to connect the clauses properly. Adding 'that' clarifies the meaning.

× Maybe because this university graduated from it and it is a comfortable job and you.

✓ Maybe because I graduated from this university, and it is a comfortable job for me.

The original sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. 'This university graduated from it' is incorrect; the student should say 'I graduated from this university'. Also, 'and you' is unclear and should be omitted or clarified.

× No, I don't like place where you work because a place of the university is far from my home and take about one hour to reach the university.

✓ No, I don't like the place where I work because the university is far from my home and it takes about one hour to reach it.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'you' instead of 'I' to refer to the speaker. Also, 'a place of the university' should be 'the university'. The verb 'take' should be 'takes' to agree with singular subject 'it'.

× My ambition, I hope, continue in this academic field, take a master degree and then take a PhD degree.

✓ My ambition is, I hope, to continue in this academic field, to take a master's degree and then a PhD degree.

The sentence lacks the infinitive 'to' before verbs 'continue' and 'take'. Also, 'master degree' should be 'master's degree'. The sentence structure is improved by adding 'is' after 'My ambition'.