Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit long and slightly unclear. Try to be more concise and directly answer the question first, then add supporting details. Also, avoid redundancy and grammatical errors like 'looking forward to pursue' should be 'looking forward to pursuing'.

例: I am currently a student. I have just completed my senior secondary education in the medical stream with mathematics, and I am planning to pursue further studies in medicine.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and lacks clarity. Since you are not working, simply state that and briefly explain your current focus. Avoid repeating the same information.

例: I am not working at the moment because I am focusing on my medical studies and planning to continue my education in this field.

提案: Your answer has contradictory words like 'hostile and friendly' which confuse the listener. Also, the tense is unclear and the answer is vague. Be specific and use correct adjectives to describe the place.

例: Yes, it was a good place to work because the environment was comfortable and the people were very friendly and supportive.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Use clear sentences and correct word choices, for example, 'obliged' is incorrect here; you might mean 'dedicated' or 'hardworking'. Also, avoid redundancy and incomplete sentences.

例: Yes, I like the place because it has a beautiful ambience and a good work environment. My colleagues are hardworking, which motivates me to work harder. Additionally, the free Wi-Fi is very helpful.

提案: Your answer is somewhat vague and incomplete. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid unfinished sentences. Provide specific examples of what you want to achieve in healthcare.

例: In the future, I plan to work in healthcare to serve people. I hope to contribute by either discovering new treatments for diseases or by providing quality medical care to patients.

× Currently, I am unemployed as I have recently completed my senior secondary certificate examination with strong academic school in the medical stream including mathematics.

✓ Currently, I am unemployed as I have recently completed my senior secondary certificate examinations with strong academic records in the medical stream including mathematics.

The word 'examination' should be plural 'examinations' because it refers to multiple subjects or tests. Also, 'academic school' is incorrect; it should be 'academic records' to indicate achievements. This correction ensures proper plural usage and clarity.

× Now I am looking forward to pursue my further studies in medicine as I am.

✓ Now I am looking forward to pursuing my further studies in medicine.

The phrase 'looking forward to' should be followed by a gerund ('pursuing') not the base verb 'pursue'. Also, the ending 'as I am' is incomplete and unnecessary here. Correcting this improves sentence structure and verb form usage.

× Currently, I don't work anywhere.

✓ Currently, I do not work anywhere.

While 'don't' is acceptable in speech, in formal responses 'do not' is preferred for clarity and formality. This is a style suggestion rather than a strict grammar error.

× As I mentioned previously, I am studying medicine and my further plans will be to study medicine.

✓ As I mentioned previously, I am studying medicine and my future plans are to continue studying medicine.

The phrase 'further plans will be to study medicine' is awkward. 'Future plans are to continue studying medicine' is clearer and grammatically correct. This improves sentence clarity and tense consistency.

× Yes, it is a very nice place to work before because of the comforting environment it provides and also the people there are very hostile and friendly.

✓ Yes, it is a very nice place to work because of the comforting environment it provides and also the people there are very hospitable and friendly.

The word 'hostile' means unfriendly or antagonistic, which contradicts 'friendly'. The correct adjective is 'hospitable', meaning welcoming and friendly. This correction fixes the incorrect adjective usage.

× Yes, I'm really fascinated by the place because of the beautiful ambience and have and the work environment is really good.

✓ Yes, I'm really fascinated by the place because of the beautiful ambience and the work environment is really good.

The phrase 'and have and the work environment' is incorrect and redundant. Removing 'have and' corrects the sentence structure and makes it coherent.

× My colleagues are also very obliged to work and by seeing them working it also motivates me to work more harder.

✓ My colleagues are also very dedicated to work and seeing them working motivates me to work harder.

'Obliged' means forced or required, which is incorrect here. 'Dedicated' fits better to express willingness. Also, 'more harder' is incorrect; 'harder' alone is the comparative form. Removing 'more' corrects the adverb usage.

× Also the there is free Wi-Fi that will facilitate.

✓ Also, there is free Wi-Fi that facilitates work.

The phrase 'the there is' is incorrect; it should be 'there is'. Also, 'will facilitate' is incomplete; specifying what it facilitates improves clarity. This correction fixes article misuse and sentence completeness.

× My future work plans is to do something in health care as I want to serve people and do something in medicine.

✓ My future work plans are to do something in health care as I want to serve people and do something in medicine.

'Plans' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. This correction ensures subject-verb agreement.

× It could be a discovery to cure any disease, or it would.

✓ It could be a discovery to cure any disease, or it could be something else.

The phrase 'or it would' is incomplete and unclear. Completing the sentence clarifies the meaning and improves sentence structure.