Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki kelancaran dan kejelasan kalimat. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih terstruktur dan hindari pengulangan atau kata yang tidak jelas. Misalnya, jelaskan nama perusahaan dengan jelas dan jabarkan posisi Anda secara singkat dan tepat.

例: I work as an HR employee at Swasta, a holding company that owns several sister companies.

提案: Jawaban kurang jelas dan tidak terstruktur. Gunakan kalimat lengkap dan jelas untuk menjelaskan lokasi kerja sekarang dan sebelumnya. Hindari kalimat yang terputus-putus dan kata yang tidak relevan.

例: I used to work in Surabaya City, but now I work from home in my hometown, Yogyakarta.

提案: Perbaiki penggunaan kosakata dan tata bahasa, serta hindari kesalahan pengucapan kata. Gunakan kata yang tepat seperti 'comfortable' dan 'reliable'. Tambahkan kata penghubung untuk kelancaran jawaban.

例: Of course, working from home is a great option for me because I can spend more time with my mom, which makes me feel comfortable and supported. Also, since everything I need is nearby, I find it easier to focus and enjoy my work without distractions.

提案: Perbaiki struktur kalimat dan tata bahasa. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih jelas dan hindari kata yang salah eja seperti 'eficient' dan 'an'. Gunakan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

例: Yes, I like the place where I work because working from home allows me to manage my schedule and time more efficiently and effectively. I really enjoy it.

提案: Perbaiki penggunaan kata dan tata bahasa, seperti 'aboard' menjadi 'abroad'. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih terstruktur dan tambahkan kata penghubung untuk kelancaran jawaban.

例: Deep down, I want to be a teacher, so I plan to study abroad at Taiwan University to learn more about the language there. After that, I plan to return to Indonesia to teach Mandarin to those who need it.

× I am a. Employee at Swasta. Corporate name as far as corporat.

✓ I am an employee at Swasta Corporate, as far as the corporate name goes.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a vowel sound like 'employee'. Also, 'Swasta Corporate' is a proper noun and should be treated as a single phrase. The phrase 'as far as corporat' is incomplete and unclear; it is corrected to 'as far as the corporate name goes' for clarity.

× It's a holding company that has a lot of sister company.

✓ It's a holding company that has a lot of sister companies.

The noun 'company' should be plural 'companies' because it refers to multiple sister companies.

× An I am working as an HR.

✓ And I am working as an HR.

The word 'An' is a typo and should be 'And' to connect the sentence properly.

× Before I work. At Surabaya City, but now I work. At home, at my childhood. Add yoga Carta. But no, I'm work.

✓ Before, I worked in Surabaya City, but now I work at home, in my hometown, Yogyakarta. But no, I am working.

The past action should use past tense 'worked'. 'At my childhood' is incorrect; it should be 'in my hometown'. 'Add yoga Carta' is a misspelling of 'Yogyakarta'. 'I'm work' is incorrect; it should be 'I am working'.

× Of course, working from home is a great option for me because I can spend more time with my mom, which makes me feel comfort, rible and supported.

✓ Of course, working from home is a great option for me because I can spend more time with my mom, which makes me feel comfortable, reliable, and supported.

The words 'comfort' and 'rible' are incorrect. They should be the adjectives 'comfortable' and 'reliable' to describe feelings.

× Originally, since everything I need is nearby, I find it easier to focus an enjoy my work without distraction.

✓ Originally, since everything I need is nearby, I find it easier to focus and enjoy my work without distractions.

The conjunction 'an' is a typo and should be 'and'. Also, 'distraction' should be plural 'distractions' to match the context.

× Of course I like the place where I work since I work from home and everything I need is nearby so. I can easily manage an. Might a schedule and time more eficient an effective? So I very love it.

✓ Of course, I like the place where I work since I work from home and everything I need is nearby. So, I can easily manage my schedule and time more efficiently and effectively. So, I really love it.

The sentence has several issues: 'an. Might a schedule' is incorrect and should be 'my schedule'. 'eficient an effective' should be 'efficiently and effectively' (adverbs). 'I very love it' is incorrect; it should be 'I really love it'.

× Deep down inside I want to be a teacher, so I plan to study aboard at Taiwan University so I can study more about the language in there.

✓ Deep down inside, I want to be a teacher, so I plan to study abroad at Taiwan University so I can learn more about the language there.

'Aboard' is incorrect; it should be 'abroad' meaning overseas. 'Study more about the language in there' is awkward; 'learn more about the language there' is better.

× And I plan to go back to Indonesia so I can teach Mandarin for everyone who needs.

✓ And I plan to go back to Indonesia so I can teach Mandarin to everyone who needs it.

The phrase 'teach Mandarin for everyone who needs' is incorrect; it should be 'teach Mandarin to everyone who needs it' to use the correct preposition and complete the sentence.