Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Try to form a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, followed by supporting details. Avoid redundancy and ensure correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I am currently a student and have completed my 12th standard with 96% marks. I plan to pursue nursing studies abroad to enhance my career prospects.

提案: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by making it more natural and fluent. Use a clear topic sentence and add linking words to connect your ideas. Also, correct the phrase 'in abroad' to 'abroad'.

例: I do not work at the moment because I am a student. I have decided to study BSc Nursing abroad to gain better opportunities.

提案: You did not answer the question directly. Try to respond clearly and avoid repeating previous answers. Provide your opinion about the place if you can, even if hypothetical, to enrich your response.

例: Although I am not working currently, I believe that the hospital where I plan to work is a good place because it offers excellent facilities and a supportive environment.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but needs better sentence structure and vocabulary. Use linking words to connect your thoughts and avoid vague phrases. Also, correct grammar mistakes like 'expects to leave' to 'expect to live'.

例: I like the place where I study because it provides comfort and helps me relax. Therefore, I think it is a beautiful and amazing place where I expect to live happily.

提案: Your answer is fragmented and unclear. Try to form complete sentences with proper grammar. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be specific about your plans.

例: My future work plan is to work as an emergency nurse in a hospital. Additionally, I would like to teach undergraduate students because I enjoy sharing knowledge and believe teaching is a good option for me.

× I my student.

✓ I am a student.

The sentence lacks the verb 'am' which is necessary to link the subject 'I' with the complement 'a student'. The pronoun 'my' is incorrectly used here instead of 'am'. The correct form is 'I am a student.'

× And have completed my 12th standard.

✓ I have completed my 12th standard.

The sentence is missing the subject 'I' before the verb 'have completed'. Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and unnecessary here. The correct sentence should be 'I have completed my 12th standard.'

× I go 96% Asian told.

✓ I got 96% in my exams.

The phrase 'I go 96% Asian told' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The intended meaning is likely to express the score obtained in exams. The correct phrase is 'I got 96% in my exams.'

× And I would like to pursue nursing in abroad.

✓ And I would like to pursue nursing abroad.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used before 'abroad'. The word 'abroad' itself implies 'in a foreign country', so 'in' is unnecessary. The correct phrase is 'pursue nursing abroad.'

× I do not work. I am a student and I decided to study BSc nursing in abroad.

✓ I do not work. I am a student and I have decided to study BSc Nursing abroad.

The verb tense 'decided' should be present perfect 'have decided' to indicate a recent decision relevant to the present. Also, 'in abroad' is incorrect; 'abroad' does not require a preposition. The correct sentence is 'I have decided to study BSc Nursing abroad.'

× I have decided to study BSc nursing in abroad.

✓ I have decided to study BSc Nursing abroad.

The preposition 'in' is unnecessary before 'abroad'. 'Abroad' already means 'in a foreign country', so 'in' should be omitted.

× Previously I have told that I am not working.

✓ Previously, I told you that I am not working.

The verb 'have told' is awkward here without an object. Adding 'you' clarifies the indirect object. Also, 'Previously' should be followed by a comma. The correct sentence is 'Previously, I told you that I am not working.'

× I do not work at the moment because I am a student.

✓ I do not work at the moment because I am a student.

This sentence is grammatically correct and fits the present tense context, so no correction is needed.

× I like the place that I study because it gives me comfort and relaxing mind too.

✓ I like the place where I study because it gives me comfort and a relaxing mind too.

The relative pronoun 'that' is better replaced with 'where' when referring to a place. Also, 'relaxing mind' needs an article 'a' to be grammatically correct.

× Think about everything.

✓ I can think about everything.

The sentence lacks a subject and verb, making it incomplete. Adding 'I can' completes the sentence meaningfully.

× So I think that it's a beautiful and amazing place that I really expects to leave.

✓ So I think that it's a beautiful and amazing place where I really expect to live.

The verb 'expects' should be 'expect' to agree with the subject 'I'. Also, 'leave' is incorrect in this context; 'live' is appropriate when talking about a place. The relative pronoun 'that' is better replaced with 'where' for a place.

× My future work plans. Is to work in a hospital as a emergency nurse and the pitch the undergraduate students.

✓ My future work plans are to work in a hospital as an emergency nurse and to teach undergraduate students.

The original sentence is fragmented and has subject-verb disagreement ('plans. Is'). 'Emergency' requires the article 'an' before it. 'Pitch' is incorrect; the intended word is 'teach'. The corrected sentence is complete and grammatically correct.

× I like to teach students. Nothing because it's a better option for me too. Teach.

✓ I like to teach students because it's a better option for me too.

The sentence 'Nothing because it's a better option for me too. Teach.' is fragmented and unclear. Removing 'Nothing' and 'Teach' and connecting the ideas properly improves clarity and grammar.