Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and redundant. Try to give a direct response first, then add clear supporting details with proper sentence structure. Avoid repeating phrases and incomplete sentences.

例: Currently, I am a student and not working. However, I worked for my mentor for four months, which was a valuable experience that helped me learn many new skills.

提案: Your answer is difficult to understand due to unclear words and sentence fragments. Try to speak clearly and organize your answer with a topic sentence and supporting details using linking words.

例: I work at a studio called Blue Horses Studio. It is a great place that gives positive energy, and I enjoy going there every morning.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by using linking words and more precise vocabulary. Also, avoid short fragmented sentences and try to combine ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I think it is a good place to work because it provides space for personal growth. Moreover, the positive and energetic atmosphere helps me stay motivated.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but is unclear due to incomplete sentences and grammar mistakes. Try to express your thoughts in complete sentences and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I like the place where I work because it offers many opportunities for personal growth. It also helps me become more creative and determined.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains incomplete sentences. Try to clearly state your future plans with complete sentences and use linking words to explain your ideas logically.

例: In the future, I plan to prepare myself by building a valuable team. I want to stay determined and empowered to achieve my goals with the support of that team.

× four months ago I've been working and I've been working for my mentor from four months and that was a great experience I had.

✓ Four months ago, I was working for my mentor for four months, and that was a great experience I had.

The use of present perfect continuous 'I've been working' is incorrect with the specific past time 'four months ago'. The past simple tense 'was working' fits better to indicate a completed action in the past.

× I work in blue horses to DO which is very. Better follow studio and the that place is really gives you.

✓ I work at Blue Horses Studio, which is a very good photo studio, and that place really gives you.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect for workplaces like studios; 'at' is more appropriate. Also, 'to DO' and 'Better follow' are unclear and likely incorrect phrases; corrected to 'photo studio' for clarity.

× and I real and I'm glad too. Go. Two, that is Sergio every morning.

✓ and I really am glad to go there every morning.

The pronoun 'too' is misused; 'to' is correct here. Also, 'Sergio' seems out of context and likely a mishearing; replaced with 'there' to make sense.

× the place gives you more. Space to grow yourself.

✓ The place gives you more space to grow yourself.

The period after 'more' is incorrect; 'more space' is a quantifier phrase and should be continuous without interruption.

× And there is a positive and energetic vibes which has help you more.

✓ And there are positive and energetic vibes which help you more.

'Vibes' is plural, so 'there is' should be 'there are', and 'has help' should be 'help' to agree with plural subject.

× that place. Helps me more creative and. Gives me. More determine an opportunity and.

✓ That place helps me be more creative and gives me more determined opportunities.

'Helps me more creative' is incorrect; it should be 'helps me be more creative'. Also, 'more determine an opportunity' is incorrect; corrected to 'more determined opportunities'.

× One of my future VOI plans is I want to prepare myself and make valuable team for myself and stay determined to achieve my goals during. That team and. Bing empowered.

✓ One of my future plans is to prepare myself, build a valuable team, stay determined to achieve my goals with that team, and be empowered.

'Make valuable team for myself' is incorrect; 'build a valuable team' is better. 'Bing empowered' is a mishearing of 'be empowered'. Also, sentence structure improved for clarity.