Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but repetitive and lacks fluency. Try to avoid repeating phrases and provide a complete sentence with more detail to sound natural and effective.

例: I work as a performance marketing specialist at a company that focuses on digital advertising.

提案: Your answer provides good content but has grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Make sure to use correct sentence structure and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, clarify the location smoothly.

例: I currently work at a company in the coupons and deals industry located in the Putuo district of Shanghai, where I focus on optimizing marketing strategies.

提案: Your answer has some repetition and grammatical mistakes. Try to use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid filler words. Also, use complete sentences with proper verb forms.

例: Yes, I think it's a good place to work because it is conveniently located, which makes my commute easier, and my colleagues, including those in IT, are very supportive and friendly.

提案: Your answer is short and has some grammatical errors. Try to combine your ideas into a coherent sentence and explain why work-life balance is important to you.

例: Yes, I like working there because I can maintain a good work-life balance, which I believe is very important for my well-being.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to express your plans clearly and use correct verb forms. Also, avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences.

例: Yes, I have plans to advance in my career by pursuing a master's degree in marketing, which will help me perform better at work.

× I work I work as a performance marketing specialist. In a company.

✓ I work as a performance marketing specialist in a company.

The original sentence is fragmented and repetitive. Combining the two parts into one clear sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× The company located in. Put all district of Shanghai.

✓ The company is located in Putuo District of Shanghai.

The original sentence is incomplete and incorrectly structured. Adding the verb 'is' and correcting the district name and phrasing makes the sentence grammatically correct and clear.

× First of all, it located well for me make my commute easier and the the the the colleagues are very supportive and the IT colleagues are also very friendly.

✓ First of all, it is located well for me to make my commute easier, and the colleagues are very supportive, and the IT colleagues are also very friendly.

The verb 'located' requires the auxiliary verb 'is' in third person singular present tense. Also, 'make' should be 'to make' to indicate purpose. Removing repeated words and adding commas improves readability.

× Yes, I like there because. I can achieve work life balance now.

✓ Yes, I like it there because I can achieve work-life balance now.

The pronoun 'there' needs 'it' to refer to the place. Also, 'work life balance' should be hyphenated as 'work-life balance'. The sentence fragments are combined for clarity.

× I want to go further at my job and I want to. Can a method degree in marketing so I can? Do well in my work.

✓ I want to advance in my job and I want to earn a master's degree in marketing so I can do well in my work.

The original sentence has incorrect modal verb usage and fragmented structure. 'Can a method degree' is incorrect; it should be 'earn a master's degree'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.