Internet— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating when you began using the internet, then add one or two specific supporting details (where, device, reason). Avoid vague or incorrect word choices and long, run-on sentences. Use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly.

Ejemplo: I started using the internet around 2000 when I got a new phone in the Philippines. Because the phone had data, I could search for information and connect with friends, which felt exciting and new at the time.

Sugerencia: Give a clear frequency statement first (daily, several times a day), then give two specific reasons or typical activities. Correct grammar (use present simple) and avoid repetition. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example.”

Ejemplo: I go online several times a day. Because I have mobile data, I use the internet to check Facebook and message my family in the Philippines, especially when I have free time.

Sugerencia: Begin with a short direct answer (yes), then give a specific example describing when and why you were not allowed, and what you felt or learned. Avoid unfinished sentences and redundant phrases. Use linking words like “because” and “so.”

Ejemplo: Yes. Last weekend at church we were asked not to use our phones or the internet because the rule is to focus on Bible study. Because of that rule, people were more attentive and it felt respectful.

Sugerencia: Answer clearly and add one or two specific reasons and a short reflection about whether you want to change. Avoid contradictions and repetitive phrases. Use correct tense and linking words like “because” and “so.”

Ejemplo: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I often talk to my family in the Philippines and watch YouTube or movies in my free time. I am trying to cut down by setting specific times for internet use.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear statement about what you would do, then give two specific activities and a brief reason or feeling. Avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences. Use past or conditional tense correctly and linking words like “so” or “and.”

Ejemplo: If I didn't have the internet, I would read books and clean the house. For example, when the power went out last year, I read a free book from my apartment and cleaned, and I enjoyed the break from screens.

× I remembered when I was in my third Sherry education in the Philippines, I started using my new phone with the Internet connection and that is the new advent of technologists by the year 2000 and it was a very remarkable and different feeling because I can able to search from.

✓ I remember when I was in my third year of schooling in the Philippines; I started using my new phone with an Internet connection, which was a new technological development around the year 2000, and it felt very remarkable and different because I was able to search for information.

The student used 'I remembered' and mixed past and present forms incorrectly. Use simple past or present perfect appropriately; 'I remember' is better for recalling a past memory conversationally. 'Can able to' is incorrect; use 'was able to' for past ability. Also 'third Sherry education' is unclear and likely 'third year of schooling'. The sentence was long and needed commas and relative clause 'which was a new technological development' to clarify meaning.

× Nowadays I most of the time I connected to the Internet because of I have my own data in my phone and it most important most especially if I had a free time.

✓ Nowadays I am connected to the Internet most of the time because I have mobile data on my phone, and it is especially important when I have free time.

The student mixed tenses and used incorrect verb forms: 'I connected' should be present continuous 'I am connected' or 'I connect'. 'Because of I have' is incorrect; use 'because I have'. 'It most important' needs a linking verb 'it is'. 'If I had a free time' should be present tense 'when I have free time' to match 'nowadays'.

× I keep connected to the Internet and scoring my Facebook app and messaging my family way back in the Philippines using this important connection.

✓ I stay connected to the Internet, check my Facebook app, and message my family back in the Philippines using this connection.

'Keep connected' is better as 'stay connected'. 'Scoring my Facebook app' is incorrect verb choice and form; use 'check' or 'use' the app. Use parallel structure: verbs in the same form 'stay, check, and message'. Remove unnecessary words like 'way back' which can be shortened to 'back'.

× I remembered when I went to church last weekend, we're not supposed to use our mobile phone as well as the Internet at the same time because it is part of our rules and regulation to focus only the Bible studies in our church.

✓ I remember when I went to church last weekend, we were not supposed to use our mobile phones or the Internet because it is part of our rules to focus only on Bible study in our church.

Tense consistency: use 'I remember' or 'I remembered' with matching clause 'we were'. 'We're not supposed' is contraction of present; here past 'we were not supposed' fits 'last weekend'. 'Mobile phone' plural should be 'mobile phones'. 'As well as the Internet at the same time' is redundant; 'or the Internet' suffices. Use 'focus on Bible study' rather than 'focus only the Bible studies'.

× And also gadget is not allowed most important in the Internet as well.

✓ Also, gadgets are not allowed, and using the Internet is not permitted either.

Pronoun/number issues: 'gadget is' should be plural 'gadgets are'. The phrase 'most important in the Internet' is unclear; rephrase to clarify prohibition: 'using the Internet is not permitted either'. Maintain parallel structure when listing prohibitions.

× And that is a very big impact to our lives because.

✓ That has a very big impact on our lives.

The original is incomplete and ends with a subordinating 'because' with no clause. Use a complete main clause: 'That has a very big impact on our lives.' Use 'impact on' not 'impact to'.

× Yes, some old days I spent too much time online because I'm talking to my family back in the Philippines and even in my free time I'm staying in the comfort of my own home room and watching a YouTube, movies or blogs from the Philippines.

✓ Yes, in the past I spent too much time online because I was talking to my family back in the Philippines, and in my free time I stayed in the comfort of my own room watching YouTube videos, movies, or reading blogs from the Philippines.

Tense inconsistency: 'I spent' is past, so following verbs should be past: 'I was talking', 'I stayed'. 'Some old days' is unnatural; use 'in the past'. 'Home room' should be 'room' and 'watching a YouTube' should be 'watching YouTube videos'. Maintain parallel past tense throughout the sentence.

× What would you do without the internet? I remember last year when we lost power at home and we didn't have Internet connection as well.

✓ I remember last year when we lost power at home and we didn't have an Internet connection either.

Article error with 'Internet connection'—use 'an Internet connection'. 'As well' is better replaced with 'either' in negative sentences. The rest is fine but watch articles.

× What I did is I, I read book, a free book that also available in my, you know, apartment that no one's using it as well as I, I cleaned the house as well during those time and I, I enjoy because I finally.

✓ What I did was read a free book that was available in my apartment, which nobody was using, and I cleaned the house during that time; I enjoyed it because I finally had some quiet time.

Original had many pauses and repetitions and missing articles: use 'What I did was' for correct cleft structure. 'Read book' needs 'a book'. 'That also available' needs 'that was available'. 'No one's using it' should be 'which nobody was using'. 'I, I enjoy because I finally' was incomplete; complete with 'I enjoyed it because I finally had some quiet time.' Maintain past tense for consistency.