Internet— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence stating the age or time, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid filler words and pronunciation hesitations. Use simple past or present perfect consistently (e.g., “I started using the internet when I moved to Australia at 16”).

Ejemplo: I started using the Internet when I moved to Australia at 16. At my Australian high school students were required to use laptops for coursework and to submit homework online, so I had to get used to it quickly.

Sugerencia: Give a direct frequency statement, then support with two clear reasons using linking words (for example, ‘because’ and ‘for example’). Reduce hesitation and choose precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘stay in touch with overseas friends’).

Ejemplo: I go online several times a day. I use the internet for studying and completing online tests, and I also use it to stay in touch with my family and friends who live overseas.

Sugerencia: Organize chronologically: start with the refusal period, state the reason clearly, then mention when you began using the internet. Correct grammar (e.g., ‘my dad didn’t allow me’). Limit to two sentences and avoid false starts.

Ejemplo: Yes. When I was about 12 or 13 my dad didn’t allow me to use the internet because he thought I was too young to socialize online. I only began using it regularly at 16 after I moved to Australia and got my first smartphone.

Sugerencia: Be precise about the problem and give a short specific example and a consequence. Fix grammar (e.g., ‘I spend too much time’). Avoid repetition and keep it to two sentences with a linking phrase like ‘for example’ or ‘as a result’.

Ejemplo: Yes, I spend too much time online and it often distracts me from my IELTS preparation. For example, I plan to practice an online test but end up scrolling social media for 20 minutes, which reduces my productivity.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear topic sentence about alternative activities, then give two specific examples and a brief reason using linking words like ‘for example’ and ‘because’. Remove fillers and correct small errors (‘outdoor activities’ not ‘outside outdoor’).

Ejemplo: Without the internet, I would spend more time doing outdoor activities. For example, I would go to the gym regularly and play sports like badminton or swim more often because these activities help me stay fit and occupied.

× I started using the Internet when I came to Australia and began attending to high school here because in most of the high school in Australia, the student need their laptop to do the excitement and also submit a lot or homework online with the teachers instead of, uh, uh, printing papers like, uh, in my hometown.

✓ I started using the Internet when I came to Australia and began attending high school here because in most high schools in Australia, students need their laptops to do assignments and also submit a lot of homework online to the teachers instead of printing papers like in my hometown.

Prepositions and related noun forms are incorrect: 'attending to high school' should be 'attending high school' (no 'to'); 'in most of the high school' should be 'in most high schools' (plural and no 'of'); 'the student need' is subject-verb agreement and plural: 'students need'; 'their laptop' should be 'their laptops' to agree with plural 'students'; 'do the excitement' is wrong word choice—likely 'do assignments'; 'submit a lot or homework' should be 'submit a lot of homework' and use 'to the teachers' or simply 'online' (preposition use). Correction fixes prepositions, plurality, and word choice to match standard English.

× Well, I go online every day, usually several times a day, because I need the Internet for uh, studying and daily uh, tasks.

✓ Well, I go online every day, usually several time a day, because I need the Internet for studying and daily tasks.

Minor redundancy and article use: 'several times a day' is correct originally; however keep as 'several times a day'. Ensure consistent present simple tense 'I go' and 'I need'. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity. (Note: if keeping original meaning, 'several times a day' is correct — corrected sentence removes fillers.)

× For instance, I have fun contact with my oversea friends and family to keep in touch, and I also umm, uh, need to uh, umm, do the online uh, test exams, umm, on this.

✓ For instance, I keep in touch with my overseas friends and family, and I also need to take online tests.

Preposition and word choice errors: 'have fun contact with' is not idiomatic—use 'keep in touch with'; 'oversea friends' should be 'overseas friends'; 'do the online test exams' is awkward and redundant—use 'take online tests'. Removed fillers and corrected verb collocations and prepositions.

× Yes. So when I, what, 12 or 13 years my dad did, it didn't allow me to use the Internet because he thought I'm too young for socialization and also making friends online.

✓ Yes. When I was about 12 or 13 years old, my dad did not allow me to use the Internet because he thought I was too young to socialize and to make friends online.

Multiple tense and auxiliary problems: 'when I, what, 12 or 13 years' should be 'when I was about 12 or 13 years old'; 'my dad did, it didn't allow me' is ungrammatical—use 'my dad did not allow me' or 'my dad wouldn't allow me'; 'he thought I'm too young' mixes present with past—use past 'he thought I was too young'; 'for socialization and also making friends online' should be parallel infinitives: 'to socialize and to make friends online'.

× So I started using the Internet when I was 16, after I moved to Australia and that when I got my first iPhone.

✓ So I started using the Internet when I was 16, after I moved to Australia and got my first iPhone.

Redundant and awkward phrasing: 'and that when I got' is incorrect. Use simple past coordinated verbs 'moved' and 'got' in sequence. Maintain past tense consistency.

× Yes I do, I have to admit that I spending so much time on my phone with distract me from my IL preparation and redo my productivity during the day.

✓ Yes, I do. I have to admit that I spend so much time on my phone, which distracts me from my IELTS preparation and reduces my productivity during the day.

Tense and verb form errors: 'I spending' should be 'I spend' (present simple); 'with distract me' is ungrammatical—use relative clause 'which distracts me' and ensure subject-verb agreement 'distracts'; 'IL preparation' likely 'IELTS preparation'; 'redo my productivity' is wrong collocation—use 'reduces my productivity'.

× So for instance, I intend to do the online test but I end up scrolling on social media for 20 minutes before I actually completing my practices.

✓ For instance, I intend to do the online practice tests but I end up scrolling on social media for 20 minutes before I actually complete my practice.

Verb form errors: 'before I actually completing' should be 'before I actually complete' (base form after 'before' for habitual action). 'Do the online test' improved to 'do the online practice tests' for clarity and count agreement.

× I think I would spend more time to do outside outdoor activities such as, uh, going to the gym, playing sports as, uh, badminton or swimming more often, uh, because that how I keep myself, uh, occupied and also stay healthy in my daily life.

✓ I think I would spend more time doing outdoor activities such as going to the gym, playing sports like badminton, or swimming more often, because that is how I keep myself occupied and stay healthy in my daily life.

Preposition and verb form issues: 'spend more time to do' should be 'spend more time doing' (use verb+ing after 'spend time'); 'outside outdoor' is redundant—use 'outdoor'; 'playing sports as' should be 'playing sports like' or 'such as'; 'that how I keep myself' needs verb 'is' — 'that is how I keep myself occupied'. Correction fixes prepositions, verb forms, redundancy, and adds clarity.