Walking— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler sounds (uh, umm) and repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, however, because).

Ejemplo: Not really. I usually drive my car, but I do walk about 15 minutes each day between my home and the South station. Before I started going to the gym, I could barely walk for five minutes, so my stamina has improved since then.

Sugerencia: Give a direct topic sentence and clearer, more specific supporting details. Correct grammar (e.g., avoid repeated words) and explain what you mean by phrases like “delivery turns.” Use one linking phrase to connect ideas (for example, ‘and often’ or ‘because’).

Ejemplo: Yes, I went out quite often as a child. I usually walked to nearby parks with my friends, and we would chat about our games and whose turn it was to bring snacks.

Sugerencia: Make your reasons clear and specific, and use correct vocabulary. Start with a topic sentence like ‘People walk in parks because…’ then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, ‘for relaxation’ and ‘for exercise’). Avoid unclear phrases and filler words.

Ejemplo: People walk in parks mainly to relax and get fresh air. For instance, parks offer quiet paths for a peaceful stroll, and they also provide space for exercise and outdoor activities like jogging or playing sports.

Sugerencia: Answer directly with a clear place and give specific reasons. Avoid unclear or irrelevant words. Use linking words to connect reasons (for example, ‘because’ and ‘for example’). Name a real place or describe its features accurately.

Ejemplo: I would like to walk along the Nigel Valley walking route because it has long tree-lined paths and large green areas. For example, the route includes scenic views and peaceful spots where I could relax and enjoy nature.

Sugerencia: Respond with a clear past-tense topic sentence and give specific details about where you went and what you did. Correct grammar and vocabulary (for example, ‘food stalls’ instead of ‘food stones’). Use a linking word to sequence information (for example, ‘there, we…’).

Ejemplo: Recently I walked along a government-built riverside route with my friends. There were food stalls where we ate snacks, and the path had lots of greenery and benches where we relaxed.

× To be honest, no, I usually use my private car, uh, but I go from home to the South station and back daily and it is almost 15 minutes uh, that I go there on, on foot.

✓ To be honest, no. I usually use my private car, but I walk from home to the South station and back daily, and it takes me almost 15 minutes on foot.

The original mixes verbs ('go' and 'use') awkwardly and uses 'it is almost 15 minutes that I go there on foot', which is ungrammatical. Use simple present 'walk' for habitual action and the fixed expression 'it takes (someone) [time]' to state duration. Also split into clearer sentences and remove filler words.

× Umm, also I couldn't uh, even walk for 5 minutes before I started going to the gym.

✓ Also, I couldn’t even walk for five minutes before I started going to the gym.

Use past simple 'couldn't' and 'started' correctly; main correction is punctuation and removing disfluent fillers. Spell out small numbers in formal writing if desired. The tense sequence is correct but clarity improves by cleaning up fillers.

× Yes, quite often when I was a child, I preferred to go out and rather than staying at home and uh, most of the time I went to nearby parks on foot with my friends and sometimes we while while walking we talked about our delivery turns.

✓ Yes, quite often when I was a child I preferred to go out rather than stay at home. Most of the time I walked to nearby parks on foot with my friends, and sometimes while walking we talked about our delivery turns.

Mixed and redundant verb forms and awkward structure. Use past simple consistently ('preferred', 'stayed' -> 'stay' after 'rather than' uses base form; 'went' -> 'walked' is more natural). Remove repeated words and split into two sentences for clarity.

× I think people tend to escape from their hectic days of their lives and they want to breathe fresh air and parks in long spring areas and also they chanted garden outdoor activities for example umm 10 spring or have some time.

✓ I think people tend to escape their hectic lives and want to breathe fresh air in parks, especially in the long spring season, and they enjoy outdoor garden activities, for example picnics or spending time there.

Several preposition and word choice errors: 'escape from their hectic days of their lives' should be 'escape their hectic lives'; 'breathe fresh air and parks in long spring areas' is garbled—use 'breathe fresh air in parks' and 'long spring season'. 'Chanted' is incorrect; likely 'enjoy' or 'choose'. Clarify examples ('picnics' instead of '10 spring').

× Actually, the parks offers plenty of avatar, even tears.

✓ Actually, the parks offer plenty of attractions, even terraces.

Subject-verb agreement: 'parks' is plural so use 'offer' not 'offers'. Also 'avatar' and 'tears' are incorrect word choices; replace with likely intended words such as 'attractions' and 'terraces' or 'areas'. Choose vocabulary that matches meaning.

× And for example, I like to go to Nigel Vallabhar if you see the famous walking route and uh, there are, uh, tall trees and green area there to enjoy and also their Chinese court there.

✓ For example, I like to go to Nigel Vallabhar to see the famous walking route; there are tall trees and green areas to enjoy, and there is also a Chinese court there.

Preposition and article problems plus redundant fillers. Use 'to see' rather than 'if you see'. Ensure noun phrases agree: 'green areas' plural, 'there is also a Chinese court' uses correct verb for singular 'court'. Remove extra 'there' and fillers.

× I want to push one another one food with my friends and I think, uh, there is a specific walking route there developed by government.

✓ I went to push one another one food with my friends and I think there is a specific walking route there developed by the government.

Original meaning is unclear; 'want to push one another one food' is ungrammatical. If the student meant they 'went to buy food with my friends', correct to 'I went to buy some food with my friends'. The clause 'developed by government' needs the definite article 'the government'. Maintain past tense if referring to a recent past action. (If the intended meaning was different, replace verb accordingly.)

× Also their food stones to eat some food and buy snacks and lots of greenery and.

✓ Also there are food stalls where you can eat and buy snacks, and there is lots of greenery.

Pronoun and word choice errors: 'their food stones' is incorrect. Use 'there are food stalls' or 'their' -> 'there'. Complete the sentence—original ends abruptly. Use 'lots of greenery' and proper clause structure 'where you can eat and buy snacks'.