Walking— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문법과 표현을 좀 더 정확하게 고치고, 말의 유창성을 위해 불필요한 채우기 표현(예: uh)을 줄이세요. 또한 숫자와 단위를 정확하게 표현하고, 한두 문장으로 간결하게 핵심을 전달하세요. 예시로는 습관(빈도), 이유(이익), 구체적인 수치와 단위를 명확히 제시하는 구조를 쓰면 좋습니다.

Ejemplo: Yes, I walk a lot. Walking is an easy form of exercise and I enjoy listening to music while I walk. I usually take about 10,000 steps a day.

Sugerencia: 과거 시제와 시제 일관성을 확인하세요 (예: 과거 경험은 모두 과거형으로). 장소 설명은 좀 더 구체적으로 하고, 연결어를 사용해 문장 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, I often walked outside with my friends when I was a child. We lived in front of a town square, so we could go for walks there whenever we wanted.

Sugerencia: 논리 전개는 좋지만 문법(주어-동사 일치, 관사 사용)과 표현을 더 정확히 하세요. 연결어를 사용해 이유들을 정리하고, 구체적인 예나 결과를 하나 추가하면 설득력이 높아집니다.

Ejemplo: I think people like walking in parks because it is free and healthy. Nowadays many leisure activities can be expensive, so walking in a park is an affordable option, and it also helps reduce stress and improve fitness.

Sugerencia: 몇 가지 어순 오류와 중복 표현을 고치세요(예: 'walk want to walk' 제거). 형용사 사용과 연결어를 다듬어 문장을 더 자연스럽게 만드세요. 한두 개의 구체적 이유(예: 경치, 시설)로 지원하면 좋습니다.

Ejemplo: I'd like to take a long walk in Han River Park because it's an iconic park in Seoul that combines natural scenery and recreational facilities. I would enjoy walking there with my friends and stopping at riverside cafés.

Sugerencia: 문장이 많이 불명확하고 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다('Pyongyang' 관련 설명, 'solve the many seagulls' 등). 장소 설명은 정확한 전치사와 문장 구조로 고치고, 경험에서 느낀 점을 구체적으로 서술하세요. 또한 시제와 연결어를 바로잡아 이야기를 명확하게 만드세요.

Ejemplo: I recently went for a walk at Pyongyang Square, whose name means 'peaceful square.' It is located by the sea, so there were many seagulls and pleasant sea views. I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and would like to visit again.

× Yes, I like walking because walking is uh, a very easy exercise and I love the time when I listen to music with the walk.

✓ Yes, I like walking because walking is, uh, a very easy exercise and I love the time when I listen to music while I walk.

The student used 'with the walk' which is incorrect prepositional and verb form usage. Use 'while I walk' to show simultaneous actions: 'listen to music while I walk.' This uses the gerund/verb structure correctly and matches the present habitual activity. Suggestion: Replace 'with the walk' with 'while I walk' or 'when I walk'.

× So I walked usually 10,000 per foot a day.

✓ So I usually walk 10,000 steps a day.

The sentence has multiple problems: 'walked usually' mixes past and habitual present, '10,000 per foot' is incorrect measure and 'per foot' should be 'steps.' This is a singular/plural and word choice issue. Use present habitual 'I usually walk' and plural 'steps.' Suggestion: Say 'I usually walk 10,000 steps a day.'

× Yes, I went outside for a walk with my friends.

✓ Yes, I went outside for a walk with my friends.

This sentence is grammatically correct in past tense and matches the question about childhood. No change needed. Suggestion: Keep as is.

× I lived in front of the square so I can go for a walk whenever I want.

✓ I lived in front of the square so I could go for a walk whenever I wanted.

Tense consistency issue: the student uses past 'lived' but then uses present 'can' and 'want.' When describing past habitual ability, use past modal 'could' and past 'wanted.' Suggestion: Maintain past tense throughout the sentence.

× I think personally it's because walking in parks doesn't need money.

✓ I think, personally, it's because walking in parks doesn't cost any money.

'Doesn't need money' is unnatural; use 'doesn't cost money' or 'is free.' This is a quantifier/word choice problem. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'doesn't cost any money' or 'is free.'

× The foods, clothes or hanging out with friends are very expensive these days.

✓ Food, clothes, or hanging out with friends are very expensive these days.

'The foods' is incorrect; 'food' as a general category is uncountable. Also parallel structure: 'food, clothes, or hanging out' keeps items consistent. Suggestion: Use uncountable 'food' and keep parallel nouns.

× But walking in parks not only free but also healthy.

✓ But walking in parks is not only free but also healthy.

Missing verb 'is' creates a sentence fragment. Use 'is not only... but also...' for correct parallel structure. Suggestion: Add 'is' after the subject.

× So I think that's a reason why people enjoy walking in parks.

✓ So I think that's a reason why people enjoy walking in parks.

This sentence is correct; subject-verb agreement with 'people enjoy' is appropriate. No change needed. Suggestion: Keep as is.

× I'd like to take a walk in Han River Park because it is iconic park in Seoul and it combines nature and entertainment, so it is good for a walk.

✓ I'd like to take a walk in Han River Park because it is an iconic park in Seoul and it combines nature and entertainment, so it is good for walking.

Missing article 'an' before 'iconic park' (article error). Also 'good for a walk' is awkward; use 'good for walking.' Suggestion: Add 'an' and change 'a walk' to 'walking.'

× I also walk want to walk with my friends.

✓ I also want to walk with my friends.

The phrase 'walk want to walk' has wrong word order and an extra verb. Remove the first 'walk' and keep 'want to walk.' Suggestion: Use correct subject-verb order: 'I also want to walk with my friends.'

× I went for walk in Pyongyang which means peaceful square.

✓ I went for a walk in Pyongyang, which means 'peaceful square.'

Missing article 'a' before 'walk' (article/tense overlap) and need comma before nonrestrictive clause. Also provide quotes for the meaning. Keep past tense 'went.' Suggestion: Use 'a walk' and add a comma before 'which.'

× It is located in and it is right in front of the sea so I can solve the many seagulls.

✓ It is located on the coast and is right in front of the sea, so I can see many seagulls.

This sentence is fragmented and contains wrong verb 'solve' instead of 'see.' 'Located in' is vague; use 'located on the coast' or 'by the sea.' Fix commas and conjunctions. Suggestion: Use 'located on the coast' and correct verb 'see.'

× So I want to visit there again.

✓ So I want to visit it again.

Use correct pronoun object 'it' rather than 'there' when referring back to a place previously mentioned. 'I want to visit there' is nonstandard. Suggestion: Say 'visit it again' or 'visit there again' rephrased as 'go there again.'