Hobby— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, list hobbies without fillers, and give one specific reason with a linking word. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (e.g. "ball sports" not "a ball sports", "these kinds of sports make me").

Ejemplo: I enjoy several ball sports, such as tennis, badminton and basketball. I play them regularly because they help me relax and keep fit, and they also let me meet friends from my neighborhood.

Sugerencia: Provide a clear topic sentence and two specific supporting details with correct tense and vocabulary. Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use linking words (for example, "because" and "also") and correct verbs ("took", "played").

Ejemplo: When I was a child, I loved spending time at the park because my dad often took my brother and me there. We played on the swings and slides, and we also enjoyed doing some simple painting activities on weekends.

Sugerencia: Begin with a direct topic sentence naming the hobby, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Remove repetitions and correct word choice ("either" unnecessary, "release my stress" -> "relieve my stress").

Ejemplo: I've kept an unusual hobby since childhood: watching fish in ponds or lakes. I find it very calming because watching their movements relieves my stress, and I enjoy observing how they interact with each other.

Sugerencia: Answer directly and finish the idea: state the shared hobby, describe where and how often you do it, and explain one benefit. Avoid trailing off and filler sounds; use correct grammar ("keeps us active" not "make us stay active").

Ejemplo: Yes, we all enjoy jogging—my father, my younger brother and I. We usually jog near our house, around the university or primary school nearby, three or four times a week because it keeps us fit and gives us a chance to talk and bond.

× Yes, uh, I have a lot of hobbies, especially like a, uh, ball sports, for example, like uh, type of tennis, uh, tennis, badminton and basketball because I really like to do exercise and I think this kind of sport make me feel relaxed and happy and also social life with others.

✓ Yes, I have a lot of hobbies, especially ball sports, for example tennis, badminton and basketball, because I really like to exercise and I think these kinds of sports make me feel relaxed and happy and help me socialise with others.

The student misused quantifiers and countable/plural forms: 'a lot of hobbies' is acceptable but 'a ball sports' is incorrect because 'a' cannot be used with plural 'sports' and 'ball' should be an adjective, not count noun here. 'Type of tennis' is redundant. 'This kind of sport make' has number disagreement with plural noun. Suggested improvements: remove unnecessary fillers, use 'ball sports' (no article), use plural agreement 'these kinds of sports make', and use 'exercise' as a verb 'like to exercise'. Also replace 'social life with others' with 'socialise with others' for correct collocation.

× Uh, well, when I was a child, uh, I really like to, uh, spend time at the park, uh, because my dad always take me and my younger brother to go to park and play some facilities there.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked to spend time at the park because my dad always took my younger brother and me to the park to use the facilities there.

Tense and subject-verb agreement errors: describing past habits requires past tense 'liked' and 'took' instead of present forms. 'Take me and my younger brother' should be 'took my younger brother and me' for correct object order and pronoun case. 'Go to park' needs the article 'the park' and 'play some facilities' is incorrect collocation; use 'use the facilities'. Improve by using past tense consistently and correct object pronoun order.

× And also we would like to, uh, we love to, uh, pence do some painting there and also play with.

✓ We also loved to do some painting there and to play with each other.

Fragmented and unclear structure with fillers and a non-word 'pence'. The sentence mixes present and past; since context is childhood, past tense 'loved' fits. 'Play with' needs an object, so 'play with each other' completes the meaning. Remove fillers and use parallel verb forms 'to do... and to play...'.

× Well, it is an interesting question. I think this hobby is quite weird, which is umm, watching fish, fish in the either pond or lake, because I think, uh, this hobby can make me release my stress and also I, I really like to watch, I really like to watch a fish's behavior when they interact with other fishes.

✓ I think this hobby is quite unusual: watching fish in either a pond or a lake, because this hobby helps me relieve stress. I really like to watch fish behaviour when they interact with other fish.

Article and word-choice issues: 'either pond or lake' needs articles 'a pond or a lake'. 'Make me release my stress' is unnatural; use 'help me relieve stress'. 'A fish's behavior' is odd when speaking generally; use plural 'fish' and uncountable 'behaviour'. Also 'fishes' is rarely used; 'fish' is correct for multiple. Improve by using correct articles, idiomatic verbs, and correct plural/uncountable nouns.

× We usually go jogging in, uh, near my, my house, which is, uh, maybe like a university or primary school because umm, there's exercise, make us stay active and uh, also connect our.

✓ We usually go jogging near my house, which is maybe near a university or a primary school, because exercise helps us stay active and also helps us connect with each other.

Subject-verb agreement and sentence completion issues: 'there's exercise, make us stay active' mixes structures and uses a contraction 'there's' incorrectly. Use 'exercise helps us' for third person singular agreement. 'Connect our' is incomplete; add 'with each other' or 'with others'. Also remove redundant fillers and correct article use 'a university' and 'a primary school'.