Singing— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 回答は内容が明確で個人的な理由も述べられていますが、繰り返しや口癖（uh, yeah）と冗長さが目立ちます。より自然で効果的にするには、冒頭で明確なトピック文を使い、支持する理由を1〜2の具体例で端的に述べ、接続詞（because, so, therefore, for example）を使って論理を整えてください。また文の長さは3〜4文に抑え、躊躇語を減らす練習をしてください。

Ejemplo: Yes, I enjoy singing. I often go to karaoke because singing helps me relax and forget about daily stress. For example, after a long day at work, a short karaoke session makes me feel refreshed.

Sugerencia: 答えが曖昧で自信がなく、言いかけや不完全な文が目立ちます。直接的な主張（Yes/No/Partly）で始め、その根拠を具体的に述べてください。もし正確でない場合は“I’m not sure”と明確にした上で具体例（授業で習ったことや練習したこと）を付け加えると良いです。接続語（because, although, however）を使って論理を繋ぎ、不要な言い淀みを減らしましょう。

Ejemplo: I’m not sure, but I did take music classes in high school, so I learned some basic singing techniques there. For instance, we practiced breathing and vocal warm-ups, which improved my pitch control.

Sugerencia: 感情が伝わり良い内容ですが、文法ミス（"Phone my mom"→"For my mom"）や繰り返しがあるため流暢さがやや損なわれています。まず明確な主語と動詞で始め、理由を一つに絞って具体的な場面（例えば母の誕生日や娘の結婚式）を示すと効果的です。接続語（because, so, for example）でつなぎ、文を3文以内にまとめてください。

Ejemplo: I would like to sing for my mother because she devoted so much to raising me. For example, I plan to perform a song for her on her next birthday to show my gratitude.

Sugerencia: 肯定はしているものの、繰り返しと発音/文法ミス（"some of them has"）や不明瞭な表現（"bi bias"）があるため伝わりにくいです。まず明確な主張で始め、理由を2つ程度具体的に述べましょう（例：気分を高める、コミュニティを作る）。文法を正しくし、曖昧な語句は避けてください。接続語を使い、全体を短くまとめる練習をしましょう。

Ejemplo: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness. It can lift people’s moods and help them connect with others, for example at community events or parties where everyone sings together.

× Yes, I do, uh, and I sometimes go to karaoke and sing a variety of songs.

✓ Yes, I do, and I sometimes go to karaoke and sing a variety of songs.

The sentence is mostly correct but contains filler words 'uh' which are unnecessary in written form. Keep the present simple 'I sometimes go' and 'sing' to describe habitual actions. Remove fillers to improve clarity.

× This is because, yeah, when I, when I'm singing, I feel, yeah, a little comfortable and I can forget about everyday things.

✓ This is because when I'm singing I feel a little comfortable and I can forget about everyday things.

Reduce filler words 'yeah' and repeated phrases to make the sentence fluent. The present continuous 'I'm singing' is appropriate for current actions; 'feel a little comfortable' is better expressed without commas. Suggestion: remove fillers and unnecessary commas.

× I don't remember, but I guess when I was in high school I had music classes.

✓ I don't remember, but I guess when I was in high school I had music classes.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The past tense 'was' and 'had' appropriately describe past events. No change needed aside from removing hesitation if writing formally.

× So yeah, I feel like in that classes I learned how to sing well, but. Thinking.

✓ So yeah, I feel like in those classes I learned how to sing well.

Use the plural demonstrative 'those' with plural noun 'classes' (pronoun/quantifier agreement). The fragment 'but. Thinking.' is incomplete and should be removed or completed. Suggestion: delete the fragment or finish the thought.

× Phone my mom because my mom has always done her best to raise me since I was a child so I'm very grateful to her.

✓ I call my mom because she has always done her best to raise me since I was a child, so I'm very grateful to her.

The verb 'Phone' at the start lacks a subject; use 'I call' or 'I phone'. Replacing the repeated 'my mom' with pronoun 'she' avoids redundancy. Comma before 'so' helps sentence flow.

× So I want to sing for her someday.

✓ So I want to sing for her someday.

This sentence is correct. 'Want to sing' expresses desire about a future action appropriately. No grammatical change needed.

× Yes it, it does, yes I do.

✓ Yes, it does.

The original contains repetition and conflicting responses. Use a single clear response 'Yes, it does.' if referring to 'singing bringing happiness.' Avoid repeating 'yes I do' which conflicts with 'it does.'

× Uh, because, umm, I feel like many people around the world like music and uh, they, some of them has, have their own bi bias.

✓ Because I feel that many people around the world like music, and some of them have their own biases.

Remove fillers 'uh', 'umm'. Use 'that' for clarity. 'Some of them have' requires plural verb 'have' to agree with plural subject 'some of them'. 'Bi bias' is unclear; likely 'biases' or 'favorite artists'—use 'biases' as plural noun. Ensure subject-verb agreement and clear vocabulary.