Work— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: ปรับให้ประโยคกระชับและเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น โดยเริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ จากนั้นเสริมรายละเอียดสำคัญไม่เกิน 3 ประโยค ใช้คำเชื่อมอย่างเช่น “and” หรือ “also” อย่างเหมาะสม และแก้ไวยากรณ์ (เช่น ใช้ “studying for the IELTS” หรือ “studying real estate” )

Ejemplo: I'm working and studying at the same time. I work as an architect for an international firm in Thailand, and I'm also studying for the IELTS while taking courses in real estate.

Sugerencia: ตอบให้ชัดเจนและลำดับความคิด ใช้ประโยคหัวข้อแล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดเฉพาะ เช่น ตำแหน่งชั้น อธิบายสั้นๆ เกี่ยวกับลักษณะออฟฟิศ หลีกเลี่ยงคำไม่แน่นอนหรือเสียงรบกวน เช่น “I don't know.” ฝึกใช้คำศัพท์ที่เกี่ยวข้องเช่น “high-rise”, “26th floor”, “spacious office”.

Ejemplo: I work in the city in a high-rise office building. My office is on the 26th floor, and the workspace is quite spacious with large windows overlooking the city.

Sugerencia: ตอบตรงคำถามแล้วอธิบายเหตุผลให้ชัดเจนและเป็นระบบ ใช้ linking words เช่น “because” หรือ “because of” เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผล เลี่ยงการพูดซ้ำหรือคำไม่สมเหตุสมผล (เช่น “paranoia”) และให้ตัวอย่างที่เป็นรูปธรรม เช่น วิว เห็นถนนหรือสวน

Ejemplo: Yes, it's a great place to work because the office offers a bird's-eye view of the city. From our windows we can see busy streets and parks, which makes the environment more inspiring and pleasant.

Sugerencia: ตอบให้ชัดว่า “ชอบ” หรือ “ไม่ชอบ” แล้วอธิบายเหตุผลโดยใช้ภาษาธรรมชาติและไวยากรณ์ที่ถูกต้อง หลีกเลี่ยงคำพูดไม่สมบูรณ์และการซ้ำ ใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น “because” และคำศัพท์ที่เหมาะสม เช่น “motivating”, “professional atmosphere”, “help me grow”

Ejemplo: Yes, I like working there because the professional atmosphere is motivating. Being around experienced colleagues helps me grow and feel more confident in my career.

Sugerencia: ตอบให้มีโครงสร้างชัดเจน: เริ่มด้วยแผนระยะเวลา (“In five years”), ตามด้วยเป้าหมายหลักและกิจกรรมรอง ใช้คำศัพท์ที่ชัดเจน (เช่น “manager”, “business development”, “side projects”, “EIS” ควรอธิบายย่อว่า EIS คืออะไร) และเชื่อมประโยคด้วย linking words เช่น “also” หรือ “and” อย่างถูกต้อง

Ejemplo: In five years I plan to become a manager at an architecture firm. I also want to be involved in business development as a side role, and I'm currently improving my skills with EIS tools to support these goals.

× I would say that I'm working on both.

✓ I would say that I work in both.

The student uses present continuous 'I'm working' to describe habitual or regular states (work and study) where the simple present is more appropriate. Use simple present for regular activities: 'I work in both.' Also 'on both' is unnatural; use 'in both' or 'both.' Suggestion: use simple present for routines.

× I'm currently working as an architect in an architectural firm, an international firm in Thailand and also I'm currently studying IELTS and mastering in real estate field.

✓ I'm currently working as an architect in an international architectural firm in Thailand, and I'm also studying for the IELTS and studying real estate.

Preposition errors: 'in an architectural firm, an international firm in Thailand' is redundant and awkward; better to say 'in an international architectural firm in Thailand.' Use 'studying for the IELTS' not 'studying IELTS.' 'Mastering in real estate field' is incorrect; use 'studying real estate' or 'working toward a master's in real estate.' Suggestions: reorder phrase, use 'for the IELTS' and 'studying real estate.'

× I work in the cities where it's a very high rise buildings that occurs like about 30 levels.

✓ I work in a city where there are very high-rise buildings that have around 30 floors.

Mismatch between singular/plural: 'the cities' then 'it's a very high rise buildings' mixes singular 'it's' with plural 'buildings.' Use 'a city' with singular or 'cities' with plural verbs. Also '30 levels' is better as '30 floors.' Suggestion: keep noun and verb number consistent and use 'high-rise' as adjective.

× I'm on the 26th level of the buildings.

✓ I'm on the 26th floor of the building.

Article and count noun usage: 'the buildings' is plural but context refers to a specific building; use singular 'the building.' 'Level' is less natural than 'floor.' Suggestion: use 'the 26th floor of the building.'

× The office is widely SI don't know.

✓ The office is very spacious, I don't know.

Sentence structure and unclear fragment: 'widely SI don't know' is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely intent is 'The office is very spacious; I don't know why/what.' Suggestion: use clear clause connectors and correct adjective 'spacious.'

× Definitely the sceneries of a high rise buildings like and all the surroundings gives us a bird, a bird eye view, perspective.

✓ Definitely, the scenery of the high-rise buildings and the surroundings give us a bird's-eye view.

Adjective/adverb and noun form errors: 'sceneries' should be 'scenery' (uncountable), 'a high rise buildings' mixes singular/plural; use 'high-rise buildings.' 'gives us a bird, a bird eye view, perspective' should be 'give us a bird's-eye view.' Subject-verb agreement also corrected. Suggestion: use 'scenery' and 'bird's-eye view.'

× You can see all sorts of activities from others and the movement of of the paranoia para para para.

✓ You can see all sorts of activities of others and the movement of people around.

Sentence contains filler 'para para' and unclear word 'paranoia.' Replace with clear noun 'people' and 'movement around.' Suggestion: avoid filler words and choose correct nouns.

× Definitely, it gives me a very. Young ambition, cooperated firm aesthetics.

✓ Definitely, it gives me a strong sense of youthful ambition and the company's aesthetic.

Present tense and word choice: fragment 'it gives me a very.' incomplete; 'Young ambition' should be 'youthful ambition.' 'cooperated firm aesthetics' incorrect; use 'company's aesthetic' or 'corporate aesthetics.' Suggestion: complete the sentence and choose correct adjectives.

× I like how it feels that I'm becoming more wiser, more more taller.

✓ I like how it feels that I'm becoming wiser and taller.

Pronoun and comparative errors: 'more wiser' and 'more more taller' are incorrect; 'wiser' and 'taller' are already comparatives, so do not add 'more.' Remove duplicate 'more.' Suggestion: use correct comparative forms without extra 'more.'

× I have been planning for a sort of a long time that in five years I am focusing on becoming a manager in an architect company also working as a sidelines of the business model like business development field also and I'm sort of working on my EIS tools.

✓ I have been planning for a long time that in five years I will focus on becoming a manager in an architecture company, also working on the side in business development, and I'm working on my IELTS/tools.

Tense and modal/future issues: 'in five years I am focusing' should use future 'I will focus' or 'I aim to focus.' 'architect company' should be 'architecture company' or 'architecture firm.' 'working as a sidelines' incorrect; use 'working on the side.' 'EIS tools' is unclear—maybe 'IELTS' or specific tools; corrected to 'IELTS/tools.' Suggestion: use future tense for plans and correct noun phrases.